Saturday, March 19, 2022

Rant: Romance Scams

 I've been targeted several times over the past few months and it makes me VERY angry.  Preying on a single man who is lonely and depressed with over the top love notes in order to extort money is about as low of a blow as you can go.  If there is any justice in this world, karma will come back to bite these awful women.  For the record, yes I'd be just as upset if a man was using me for the same purpose but it has only happened once.  

You should see some of the messages that I get from women that I've never met and have only talked to online for a few weeks.  I'm not half bad looking for a guy in his early 40s and have an attractive smile even if I do say so myself.  Some of them are genuinely attracted and sincerely want to get to know me but I can usually tell pretty early on who has good intentions and who does not.  

Most recently, I was told that life without me "was like body without soul."  Another wanted to be "together forever" after the first message exchange and within weeks said that she loved me "more than anything else in the world."  Another repeatedly talked about wanting to marry me even after I told her that such talk made me feel uncomfortable.  In all of these cases, we had never met in person and had only been talking online for a few weeks.  In general, if she comes on too strong too soon, 9 times out of 10, it is a sign of trouble.  Another potential red flag is an insistence on talking on private forums such as Google chat or via text message.  If you ask for money on Instagram or Facebook, you can be reported or even banned if you do so repeatedly.  Not so on private chats.  

Their strategies can be varied.  Some will start out by simply saying that gas is so high and that they are struggling financially.  Can you just give me a few bucks?  I promise that I'll never ask again.  HA!  I expressed interest in meeting someone from Miami if I am in Fort Lauderdale next month.  I offered to buy her a meal with drinks but she is on her own for gas money.  It's only about 20 miles from Miami to Lauderdale and I have to pay $4+ per gallon too.  Nope, she wanted gas money now before we even met at all.  No way Jose!  I politely declined and guess what?  No more messages from her.  If I had given her $50 or so, I can pretty much guarantee that next month, she will have a more serious emergency that will require more money and no that will NOT be the last time either.  

Others will go right for the throat.  Something terrible will happen if they don't get the money (usually a fairly large amount) and I am the only one that can stop it.  In these cases, they usually wait a few weeks and chat with me every day in order to build trust.  They will seem to be caring and ask me about my job and about my health.  Then all of a sudden, they are hit with an emergency and instead of asking close friends or family for help, they turn to a guy that they only know online and for just a few weeks.  These cases make me a lot more angry than the scenario described above.  I'm quite sure that I am not the only man that they are targeting either.

Medical expenses are my weakness and yes I will sometimes donate up to $100-150, but only if they have set up a fundraiser. In fact, I've done so twice this year.  I do have a heart but I need to be sure that the need is legitimate and I am more inclined to help if it is someone that I've known for years.  I will not send blanket payments via Paypal or World Remit.  In these cases, if you say no, they will keep begging.  If, in a moment of weakness, you decide to chip in some cash, you better believe it will NOT be the last time either.  They will have a new emergency next month that will be even more pressing than the previous one.  The only was to stop this is to block and report them.  I've got some cash to spare but just like En Vogue, no you're never gonna get it!    

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