My most bizarre dreams

This post comes by request from my parents who recently had a weird dream about me. I've had some really funny ones over the years so I expect this one will give my readers a good laugh. I often do back to back quality sessions on Tuesday and Wednesday during the week, followed by a rest on Thursday. I find that it is on Thursday night that I am most likely to have these bizarre dreams, probably because I sleep more soundly. Here's my top 8.

8. I went to the Mall for a haircut and somehow lost my pants. Of course, I was embarrassed and wanted to get out of there ASAP but my friend made me walk through the entire mall with him, teasing me the whole time. Nobody else said anything.

7. I was on a date with a girl that I had seen a few times around the office when I still lived in Monty. The dream happened more than a year after I had last seen her. I knew that she was a smoker, which is a deal breaker for me. In real life, I never talked to her or had any positive or negative feelings. During the date, she paid tribute to my 7 mile training run by smoking 7 cigarettes. She wanted to kiss me goodnight but I had to pass.

6. I had to steer an actual car with a video game controller, wrecked 3 times, urinated in public outside of an open bathroom, got arrested for DUI and made friends with the arresting officer. In real life, I used to play lot of car racing video games but have not played any video games at all since I got my first real job.

5. I visited a friend's house and was greeting by a talking dog who jumped on me, knocked me down and eventually cussed me out. The dog in the dream was a pit bull and this person really does have one, unbeknownst to me at the time. This one probably came from the movie The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe because of the talking animals.

4. I was driving around looking for some type of private hidden beach resort on the border of Georgia and Florida, which does not exist.  It claimed year round 90 degree temps and optimal surf conditions every day. I could not find it and ended up all the way down in Miami. What was the weather like there? Snow flurries. In real life, I went to South Beach for Spring Break in '05 and it really did snow once in the history of Miami.

3. I attended my Dad's office party and was drinking a pina colada. My Dad walked up to me and said with no trace of concern. "You know there's marijuana in that drink." I've never smoked pot before but as soon as he said that I started feeling really weird and paranoid. I didn't talk to anyone else for the rest of the party. I've since learned that it is possible to mix a marijuana drink, known as a Green Dragon. I do not intend to try it.

2. I nearly killed myself driving up a snow covered mountain road for a trail race at altitude. I expected a possibility of more snow on race day but at the last minute, the weather forecast changed. The forecasted high temp was 81 degrees F with a 100 percent chance of "golden rain." You can probably guess where that one came from and I've never engaged in that activity. The weather man explained how the atmospheric conditions were perfectly suitable for the rare phenomenon that is golden rain. I woke up before the start of the race.

1. I had recently met a very nice girl who greets me with a hug every time I see her in and usually before we part company. She's just a friend but I always smile when I see her. In my dream, I had to do my best to suppress it but could not.  I was growing hair on my teeth. When I went to the dentist, I was told to start smoking pot to solve the problem. The denty even showed me before and after pictures. I did not ask if I could swish some Green Dragon instead.