2/8- Vestavia Mile. Time was 6:10.5 (best time of the year). Ran in racing flats and had no pain until I got on my toes and tried to sprint home. The pain went away as soon as I went back to flat footed running. Again, I will not yet declare myself healthy but I am optimistic this time around.
Splits: 1:32-1:35-1:33-1:30.
Grade:C+/1 credit/distance=1.5
2/9- Veterans Park 4 in 29:19 (7:20 pace). Ran in my normal training shoes without orthotics. I had no trace of tarsal tunnel pain and minimal Achilles pain. Faded badly in the 2nd half. Splits were 14:15-15:04. That's still 18 seconds per mile better than last week. Can I hold up for another 9 miles? I don't know. We'll see how the rest of the week goes. I will come to a "go/no go" decision by Friday.
Grade:C/2 credits/distance=4.0
Monday, February 8, 2010
Rant: Visit to podiatrist
One thing about which I can be proud is that I do not give up easily. Anyone who knows me will attest to that fact. This episode is no exception. When I am faced with certain symptoms, I spend hours online doing research in search of the answer and this research will continue no matter how long it takes until the problem is solved. Some people say that there is no way that anyone who has had adrenal fatigue can finish a marathon let alone run one in 3:35. I am living proof that it is possible.
Back in 2001, I was diagnosed with tarsal tunnel syndrome, an irritation of the post tibial nerve, by a bone and joint surgeon. My symptoms including numbness, burning, tingling and worse, shooting pain in the area between my ankle bone and achilles tendon. It was the official end to my days as a competitor in my first running life. More than a year later, my continued research led me to believe that my taking Synthroid, which I never should have been prescribed, was a major contributing factor to my development of TTS. I proved to be right. Fortunately, thanks to custom made orthotics and reduced mileage, I was able to continue running. Once I began treating my adrenals, my connective tissue healing improved and I had no significant problems with TTS from 2004-2009 despite the fact that my mileage was higher than ever in '09. I did continue wearing the orthotics as a precaution and found that I might have a mild flare up if I went too long without using the orthotics. Usually, I wore orthotics on my long runs and weekday easy runs. For speed workouts, races and some tempo runs, I opted for racing flats with no orthotics.
Unfortunately, the man who designed my first orthotics went out of business in 2008 so on the advice of a coworker, I went to a local podiatrist who designed a new pair of orthotics made with a material that was harder and more rigid than my old pair. Until about a month ago, I did not have any real problems. When my TTS flared up, I initially wrote it off as being related to my hyperthyroid condition. Maybe it did play a role but my current thyroid function is not half as bad as it was when I was on Synthroid. You know the rest. A few days later, I went down with an Achilles tendon injury. I wondered if the conditions were inter-related.
About 3 weeks after I began researching Achilles tendon injuries and tarsal tunnel syndrome, I finally came across something that was intriguing about TTS. An article stated that yes, orthotics are recommend as a treatment for TTS BUT you may develop TTS by using the wrong type of orthotics, particularly those which are hard and rigid rather than soft and flexible! Bingo! That makes a lot of sense to me. On my first run back, I ran a mile in racing flats with no orthotics with a last 200 at sub-6:00 pace without any significant pain. The next day, I wore the orthotics on a 4 mile Trak Shak run. The TTS flared up in Mile 2 and it wasn't long until I felt some Achilles pain as well. True, 4 miles is a lot harder on the body than 1 mile but on the Trak Shak run, I never ran faster than a 7:20 pace at any time on the course.
Today, I went down to Monty to see the podiatrist in hopes of getting some answers. I had to wait an hour to see him then he told me that under Alabama law, he is not allowed to examine my Achilles tendon. I'll let my readers choose the properly offensive adjective to describe that policy. Yes, I did say that the Achilles was the problem when I scheduled the appointment so the doctor essentially wasted my time and charged me $30. He also that the orthotics were still good!!?? If I can handle a longer run with the racing flats, that will vindicate me. I asked him if there is a chance that the TTS contributed to my strained Achilles. He replied that it is possible just as I suspected. I may have altered my running gait to minimize my TTS pain, which may have put extra stress on my AT. In short, the whole point of this post is that this injury may never have happened if I was given proper orthotics. I am angry as I should be. Good doctors do exist but they sure are hard to find. This is not the first time that I've been burned by a doctor on a matter directly related to my running. I once had a stress fracture misdiagnosed as shin splints despite the fact that I had clear symptoms of a fracture including a lump that was painful to the touch. I was told to start again gradually and turned a 6 week injury into a 3 month layoff.
I will try not to dwell on this. I am happy that I may be able to salvage a racing season this Spring after all. I won't do well at Mercedes but just finishing will be a major victory. I should do fairly well in Atlanta then by the time Nashville rolls around, I could be back to PR shape. By Wednesday, I will be back to running moderate mileage. Despite my nearly painless 6:10 mile tonight, I will not declare victory yet but it sure is looking better than it was 5 days ago.
Back in 2001, I was diagnosed with tarsal tunnel syndrome, an irritation of the post tibial nerve, by a bone and joint surgeon. My symptoms including numbness, burning, tingling and worse, shooting pain in the area between my ankle bone and achilles tendon. It was the official end to my days as a competitor in my first running life. More than a year later, my continued research led me to believe that my taking Synthroid, which I never should have been prescribed, was a major contributing factor to my development of TTS. I proved to be right. Fortunately, thanks to custom made orthotics and reduced mileage, I was able to continue running. Once I began treating my adrenals, my connective tissue healing improved and I had no significant problems with TTS from 2004-2009 despite the fact that my mileage was higher than ever in '09. I did continue wearing the orthotics as a precaution and found that I might have a mild flare up if I went too long without using the orthotics. Usually, I wore orthotics on my long runs and weekday easy runs. For speed workouts, races and some tempo runs, I opted for racing flats with no orthotics.
Unfortunately, the man who designed my first orthotics went out of business in 2008 so on the advice of a coworker, I went to a local podiatrist who designed a new pair of orthotics made with a material that was harder and more rigid than my old pair. Until about a month ago, I did not have any real problems. When my TTS flared up, I initially wrote it off as being related to my hyperthyroid condition. Maybe it did play a role but my current thyroid function is not half as bad as it was when I was on Synthroid. You know the rest. A few days later, I went down with an Achilles tendon injury. I wondered if the conditions were inter-related.
About 3 weeks after I began researching Achilles tendon injuries and tarsal tunnel syndrome, I finally came across something that was intriguing about TTS. An article stated that yes, orthotics are recommend as a treatment for TTS BUT you may develop TTS by using the wrong type of orthotics, particularly those which are hard and rigid rather than soft and flexible! Bingo! That makes a lot of sense to me. On my first run back, I ran a mile in racing flats with no orthotics with a last 200 at sub-6:00 pace without any significant pain. The next day, I wore the orthotics on a 4 mile Trak Shak run. The TTS flared up in Mile 2 and it wasn't long until I felt some Achilles pain as well. True, 4 miles is a lot harder on the body than 1 mile but on the Trak Shak run, I never ran faster than a 7:20 pace at any time on the course.
Today, I went down to Monty to see the podiatrist in hopes of getting some answers. I had to wait an hour to see him then he told me that under Alabama law, he is not allowed to examine my Achilles tendon. I'll let my readers choose the properly offensive adjective to describe that policy. Yes, I did say that the Achilles was the problem when I scheduled the appointment so the doctor essentially wasted my time and charged me $30. He also that the orthotics were still good!!?? If I can handle a longer run with the racing flats, that will vindicate me. I asked him if there is a chance that the TTS contributed to my strained Achilles. He replied that it is possible just as I suspected. I may have altered my running gait to minimize my TTS pain, which may have put extra stress on my AT. In short, the whole point of this post is that this injury may never have happened if I was given proper orthotics. I am angry as I should be. Good doctors do exist but they sure are hard to find. This is not the first time that I've been burned by a doctor on a matter directly related to my running. I once had a stress fracture misdiagnosed as shin splints despite the fact that I had clear symptoms of a fracture including a lump that was painful to the touch. I was told to start again gradually and turned a 6 week injury into a 3 month layoff.
I will try not to dwell on this. I am happy that I may be able to salvage a racing season this Spring after all. I won't do well at Mercedes but just finishing will be a major victory. I should do fairly well in Atlanta then by the time Nashville rolls around, I could be back to PR shape. By Wednesday, I will be back to running moderate mileage. Despite my nearly painless 6:10 mile tonight, I will not declare victory yet but it sure is looking better than it was 5 days ago.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Rehab 2/1-2/7
2/1- Slight discomfort when walking for the first time in more than a week. Did my normal stretches and it felt about the same. It looks iffy that my next attempt to run will be successful. I am worried that my imbalances will impede my tendon and connective tissue healing. No running today. Tomorrow will be no more than 1 mile very easy.
Grade:F/1 credit/distance=0
2/2- Vestavia Mile. I ran this faster than I planned. Time was 6:43.9, which is about 90 seconds slower than my goal. The good news is that my Achilles held up during the run and the cool down. My groin was sore during the run but I know that's a symptom of low adrenaline levels, not an injury. Splits: 1:43-1:46-1:42-1:32. That's a new 2010 best for the Mile. I did have minimal pain just after I finished so it's too soon to declare myself healthy. I will continue my stretching exercises. The pace will be slower tomorrow. It will be a Trak Shak run but I am unsure of the distance. My dopamine is rising and that sure feels good.
Grade:C-/1 credit/distance=1.5
2/3- Trak Shak 4 in 30:32 (7:38 pace). I felt great in the first mile then it was downhill from there. 1st half @ 7:27, 2nd half @ 7:49. I felt my first trace of achilles pain around Mile 1.5 but it never got any worse. If I keep building gradually and keep doing my exercises, my achilles might be okay. The tarsal tunnel pain was a different story. It was much worse and I really don't have any explanation. This injury hasn't given me any serious trouble since early 2003. WTH? I will call my podiatrist in Monty tomorrow and hope to get an appointment ASAP. My orthotics are about a year old. We'll see what he says. I'm worried. If this doesn't go away, I will be relegated to being a recreational runner limited to 5Ks and 10Ks.
Grade:D/1 credit/distance=4.0
2/4- Turn for the worse a few hours after the run. The achilles hurts nearly as much as it did when I first hurt it. I am out for a month or more. AAARG! I am getting desperate and will try some ultrasound treatments even if I have to pay through the nose. If I still can't run in a month, I will seriously consider prolotherapy. I am out of Mercedes and Atlanta looks questionable at best.
Grade:F/1 credit/distance=0
2/5-2/7- Disabled list. I need some type of antidepressant to counteract crashing dopamine levels and I'm going with Sam-e, which was effective in the past
Grade: Automatic F.
Weekly summary:
You already know how I feel. I'll post about the doctor's appointment but after that, this blog shuts down until further notice.
Distance=5.5/ GPA= 2.7/6= 0.45 (all time low)
I am going to Monty on Monday to see the podiatrist and we'll see about the prognosis.
Grade:F/1 credit/distance=0
2/2- Vestavia Mile. I ran this faster than I planned. Time was 6:43.9, which is about 90 seconds slower than my goal. The good news is that my Achilles held up during the run and the cool down. My groin was sore during the run but I know that's a symptom of low adrenaline levels, not an injury. Splits: 1:43-1:46-1:42-1:32. That's a new 2010 best for the Mile. I did have minimal pain just after I finished so it's too soon to declare myself healthy. I will continue my stretching exercises. The pace will be slower tomorrow. It will be a Trak Shak run but I am unsure of the distance. My dopamine is rising and that sure feels good.
Grade:C-/1 credit/distance=1.5
2/3- Trak Shak 4 in 30:32 (7:38 pace). I felt great in the first mile then it was downhill from there. 1st half @ 7:27, 2nd half @ 7:49. I felt my first trace of achilles pain around Mile 1.5 but it never got any worse. If I keep building gradually and keep doing my exercises, my achilles might be okay. The tarsal tunnel pain was a different story. It was much worse and I really don't have any explanation. This injury hasn't given me any serious trouble since early 2003. WTH? I will call my podiatrist in Monty tomorrow and hope to get an appointment ASAP. My orthotics are about a year old. We'll see what he says. I'm worried. If this doesn't go away, I will be relegated to being a recreational runner limited to 5Ks and 10Ks.
Grade:D/1 credit/distance=4.0
2/4- Turn for the worse a few hours after the run. The achilles hurts nearly as much as it did when I first hurt it. I am out for a month or more. AAARG! I am getting desperate and will try some ultrasound treatments even if I have to pay through the nose. If I still can't run in a month, I will seriously consider prolotherapy. I am out of Mercedes and Atlanta looks questionable at best.
Grade:F/1 credit/distance=0
2/5-2/7- Disabled list. I need some type of antidepressant to counteract crashing dopamine levels and I'm going with Sam-e, which was effective in the past
Grade: Automatic F.
Weekly summary:
You already know how I feel. I'll post about the doctor's appointment but after that, this blog shuts down until further notice.
Distance=5.5/ GPA= 2.7/6= 0.45 (all time low)
I am going to Monty on Monday to see the podiatrist and we'll see about the prognosis.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Super Bowl preview
1-1 on the week and I remain at .500 for the playoffs. My hat is off to the Jets for a tremendous end to their season. It's too early to make picks for next season but they could very well dethrone New England in the AFC East. They'll be a Super Bowl contender next season.
I thought MIN was the better team than NO and I stil feel that way. It was another gutsy performance by Favre but it's hard to overcome 5 turnovers. Will Favre come back next year and will the team be as strong? The answer to the second question is "I doubt it." Green Bay will be tough to beat in that division.
I have vague memories of the Redskins/Broncos Super Bowl (1987 season) but the first one that I remember clearly was the next year's classic (Montana's drive to beat Cincy). Since then, we've seen some great Super Bowls, some forgettable games and some blowouts. Between now and then, I'll try to think of the 5 best since 1987 and the 5 worst. I remember some of the games better than others but almost every year, I remember what I did that day and where I went to watch the game. This year will probably be a low key event and probably a trip to a friend's place.
As for this year, I think that it will be a good game. I like the matchup of Peyton Manning and Drew Brees as both had outstanding seasons. We are back to what we thought we would see after Week 13 when both teams were undefeated. This is the first time in a long time that both number one seeds made it in the same season. I will pick the Colts to win but will say that the Saints have about a 1 in 3 chance of pulling off the upset. I expect that the point spread will be Indy by about 3-4 points. As for my personal preference, I don't particularly like either team but will root mildly for the Saints mostly because they've never won before. Brees has been a strong player for several years and I'd rather see him win his first than Manning win his second.
Prediction: Colts 28 Saints 24.
I thought MIN was the better team than NO and I stil feel that way. It was another gutsy performance by Favre but it's hard to overcome 5 turnovers. Will Favre come back next year and will the team be as strong? The answer to the second question is "I doubt it." Green Bay will be tough to beat in that division.
I have vague memories of the Redskins/Broncos Super Bowl (1987 season) but the first one that I remember clearly was the next year's classic (Montana's drive to beat Cincy). Since then, we've seen some great Super Bowls, some forgettable games and some blowouts. Between now and then, I'll try to think of the 5 best since 1987 and the 5 worst. I remember some of the games better than others but almost every year, I remember what I did that day and where I went to watch the game. This year will probably be a low key event and probably a trip to a friend's place.
As for this year, I think that it will be a good game. I like the matchup of Peyton Manning and Drew Brees as both had outstanding seasons. We are back to what we thought we would see after Week 13 when both teams were undefeated. This is the first time in a long time that both number one seeds made it in the same season. I will pick the Colts to win but will say that the Saints have about a 1 in 3 chance of pulling off the upset. I expect that the point spread will be Indy by about 3-4 points. As for my personal preference, I don't particularly like either team but will root mildly for the Saints mostly because they've never won before. Brees has been a strong player for several years and I'd rather see him win his first than Manning win his second.
Prediction: Colts 28 Saints 24.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
training 1/23-1/31
1/23- I would have arrived in Austin today if I were not injured. As it is, I still took a road trip today. 59N up to Chattanooga, US-72W to Huntsville, 65S to the Ham. If I could not live in Birmingham, Alabama, my next choice would be Chattanooga, Tennessee. The downtown area in Chattanooga is surprisingly flat, especially close to the Tennessee river. There's a half marathon in this city that takes place in late Feb-early March. I might do it next year. Huntsville is a smaller city than I expected but I think I would enjoy living there as well. On the injury front, I had zero pain today walking around so when I got home, I decided to try a small test on the 'mill. I started out at 4.0 mph (15:00 pace) and had no pain so I gradually bumped up the pace. I felt my first trace of pain (maybe 1.5 out of 10) at just over 6.5 mph (9:00 pace). I shut it down shortly thereafter and felt no pain on the walk back to my apartment. My total distance amounted to about a 1/2 mile so this does not count as a workout. I will not attempt to run again until next weekend but I think I will be healed by then. This injury does not appear to be as serious as I initially feared. I will upgrade Mercedes from doubtful to questionable but will downgrade the race from a marathon PR attempt to a 1/2 mary fun run. Atlanta has been upgraded from questionable to probable. 2 weeks off will not kill my fitness and if I can get some semi-quality workouts, I might still run a halfway decent time. Tomorrow is a football day and yes, there will be commentary about those games.
Grade: Non-Pass/0 credit/distance=0.5
1/24- Felt awful most of the day. I'm not even running and I have tarsal tunnel and plantar fasciitis flare ups! WTH? That does it. I'm switching from Lithium to SBF to target the thyroid instead of the adrenals. In the end, it looks like I will rotate the two each month. Lithium worked like a charm in Nov-Dec. Taking SBF for too long could cause inflammation. If I had gone to Austin injury free, I may have sucked.
1/25- I've only taken 7 days off so far but it seems like a lot longer. I admit that I am addicted to running. It's a chemical imbalance (dopamine level has crashed) and I have a history of a deficiency in that area so the best way for me to feel better is to run again. I tried taking some leftover Sam-e, an OTC antidepressant, and it helped the first day but overstimulated my thyroid thereafter. Today is my first full day on the SBF so we'll see how that works. 7 days off doesn't make a significant dent in fitness but the steep drop off comes starting around 10 days off. 1 mile progressive jog on the 'mill. Time was 9:52 and felt a rise in dopamine. Minmal pain during the run and none after. I may not be ready yet but I'm not far off unless I do something stupid like a hard run.
Grade: Pass/0 credit/distance=1.0
1/26- Planned rest day. When I woke up, the AT was not painful but it just didn't feel "right" and did not feel the same as the healthy one. Perhaps, it is scar tissue breaking up. I must be very cautious. I may attempt the Trak Shak 3 tomorrow but will stop if it hurts at all.
1/27- Not a very good day overall. I woke up with an anxiety attack so I took some taurine and it helped. I did attempt the Trak Shak 3 and there was a very small crowd despite relatively nice weather (upper 40s, clear light winds). I shut it down after 2.5 in 19:47 (7:55 pace). I was not in terrible pain but just didn't feel right. My first run after a lay off usually sucks so I might be better tomorrow. If not, it's another week off and no chance at a decent time at Mercedes. My status for that race remains questionable. Weight: 152.2, just 2.8 below my goal.
Grade:Pass/1 credit/distance=2.75
1/28- No need to try to run. I am in a little pain today and am out for another week. Yesterday may have ultimately delayed my return but I wanted to try. If I am back to full strength in time for Mercedes, I will have lost too much fitness to run a decent time.
Grade: Non-Pass/0 credit/distance=0.25
1/29-Depressing rainy day.
1/30-Depressing cold day
1/31- Still afraid to run.
Weekly summary:
Not much more to say than is not already evident. Maybe I can run next week. If not, I'll be a spectator for my hometown race. Next week, I get an F for not running.
Distance=4.50/GPA: N/A
Grade: Non-Pass/0 credit/distance=0.5
1/24- Felt awful most of the day. I'm not even running and I have tarsal tunnel and plantar fasciitis flare ups! WTH? That does it. I'm switching from Lithium to SBF to target the thyroid instead of the adrenals. In the end, it looks like I will rotate the two each month. Lithium worked like a charm in Nov-Dec. Taking SBF for too long could cause inflammation. If I had gone to Austin injury free, I may have sucked.
1/25- I've only taken 7 days off so far but it seems like a lot longer. I admit that I am addicted to running. It's a chemical imbalance (dopamine level has crashed) and I have a history of a deficiency in that area so the best way for me to feel better is to run again. I tried taking some leftover Sam-e, an OTC antidepressant, and it helped the first day but overstimulated my thyroid thereafter. Today is my first full day on the SBF so we'll see how that works. 7 days off doesn't make a significant dent in fitness but the steep drop off comes starting around 10 days off. 1 mile progressive jog on the 'mill. Time was 9:52 and felt a rise in dopamine. Minmal pain during the run and none after. I may not be ready yet but I'm not far off unless I do something stupid like a hard run.
Grade: Pass/0 credit/distance=1.0
1/26- Planned rest day. When I woke up, the AT was not painful but it just didn't feel "right" and did not feel the same as the healthy one. Perhaps, it is scar tissue breaking up. I must be very cautious. I may attempt the Trak Shak 3 tomorrow but will stop if it hurts at all.
1/27- Not a very good day overall. I woke up with an anxiety attack so I took some taurine and it helped. I did attempt the Trak Shak 3 and there was a very small crowd despite relatively nice weather (upper 40s, clear light winds). I shut it down after 2.5 in 19:47 (7:55 pace). I was not in terrible pain but just didn't feel right. My first run after a lay off usually sucks so I might be better tomorrow. If not, it's another week off and no chance at a decent time at Mercedes. My status for that race remains questionable. Weight: 152.2, just 2.8 below my goal.
Grade:Pass/1 credit/distance=2.75
1/28- No need to try to run. I am in a little pain today and am out for another week. Yesterday may have ultimately delayed my return but I wanted to try. If I am back to full strength in time for Mercedes, I will have lost too much fitness to run a decent time.
Grade: Non-Pass/0 credit/distance=0.25
1/29-Depressing rainy day.
1/30-Depressing cold day
1/31- Still afraid to run.
Weekly summary:
Not much more to say than is not already evident. Maybe I can run next week. If not, I'll be a spectator for my hometown race. Next week, I get an F for not running.
Distance=4.50/GPA: N/A
Thursday, January 21, 2010
injury update
Today will be my 4th day of forced rest. The pain when walking has diminished somewhat but I am a long way from even attempting an easy run. I was holding out hope for a miracle recovery but it's not happening and I have officially cancelled my plans to go to Texas this weekend. My weekly mileage since Christmas was 55, 45 and 60 (an average of 53.3 per week). I averaged 38.2 in 2009 but my median mileage was around 42 and had several weeks over 50 so I did boost my mileage and intensity but it's not like I was a complete moron about it. I read an article last night that hyperthyroid conditions can put one at increased risk for tendon injuries. That confirms what I pretty much knew already. The frustrating thing is that I religiously followed my supplement program but did not see any real results. My only hope is that mega doses of Lithium will do the trick. Again, the Lithium that I take is a dietary supplement derived from vegetable culture, not the drug intended for bipolar patients. If I was in balance, I feel that I could run 80 miles a week, clock a sub-18 5K and a sub-3 marathon. I have no aspirations of reaching that level but is 60 MPW and a 3:10 marathon on a downhill course (3:15 for non-asterisk) too much to ask? Sadly, yes it is. All I had to do was avoid injury for another 2 weeks then the risk would have diminished considerably. I would taper for the Mercedes full, which would have been followed by a week-10 days of rest before hitting it hard again. Man, it seems as if everytime I get upbeat for any length of time, I get knocked down. As much as the timing sucks, it actually could have been worse. All those 2-4 day flare ups that I experienced in the last 3 years most likely prevented an overuse injury from occurring sooner. When I was living in Montgomery, my job sucked, I had very few friends and running was the one thing that kept up my spirits. An injury in 2008 or '09 would really have been a crushing blow.
Prognosis:
I have read a few horror stories of some runners who have battled achilles issues for years. That frightens me but I must believe that those cases are very rare and in most instances, the athlete tried to run through the injury for a long time. My self diagnosis is non-insertional achilles tendinosis. The pain is localized a few inches above heel near the bottom of the calf muscle. Most runners, I repeat, most runners with this condition recover fully. Half recover in one month or less but the worst cases could take up to 6 months and in a few instances, leave the athlete limited to being a recreational runner. I have been in that situation before. Back in 2001, on my final attempt to make the team in college, I went down with chronic tarsal tunnel syndrome. I was told that my running days could be over and over the next few years, I never ran more than 4 days or 20 miles per week. I've been through much worse so I fully expect to beat this as well.
Rehab:
The best solution is to rest and forget about the Spring racing season altogether. The good thing about road racing is that if you miss and event one year, it will almost certainly be run the next year. My buddy Nick is coming to Birmingham for the Mercedes half and it looks like I will be a spectator. I am really not looking forward to that. Two supplements that may help are manganese, which is important to building strong tendons and lysine, which is involved in collagen formation. My manganese level was in the low-normal range but supplementing can overstimulate the adrenals so it's best to stay away from that stuff. Lysine could be worth a try but is unlikely to be a miracle. I found a site about eccentric calf stretching on stairs and will devote a few minutes a day to this before and after work. I am sure that I will not need surgery but if it does develop into a chronic condition, I am aware of an alternative treatment called prolotherapy, which is a series of injections into the tendon that often results in strengthening of both the affected tendon and surrounding muscles. That will be the last resort if all else fails.
Prognosis:
I have read a few horror stories of some runners who have battled achilles issues for years. That frightens me but I must believe that those cases are very rare and in most instances, the athlete tried to run through the injury for a long time. My self diagnosis is non-insertional achilles tendinosis. The pain is localized a few inches above heel near the bottom of the calf muscle. Most runners, I repeat, most runners with this condition recover fully. Half recover in one month or less but the worst cases could take up to 6 months and in a few instances, leave the athlete limited to being a recreational runner. I have been in that situation before. Back in 2001, on my final attempt to make the team in college, I went down with chronic tarsal tunnel syndrome. I was told that my running days could be over and over the next few years, I never ran more than 4 days or 20 miles per week. I've been through much worse so I fully expect to beat this as well.
Rehab:
The best solution is to rest and forget about the Spring racing season altogether. The good thing about road racing is that if you miss and event one year, it will almost certainly be run the next year. My buddy Nick is coming to Birmingham for the Mercedes half and it looks like I will be a spectator. I am really not looking forward to that. Two supplements that may help are manganese, which is important to building strong tendons and lysine, which is involved in collagen formation. My manganese level was in the low-normal range but supplementing can overstimulate the adrenals so it's best to stay away from that stuff. Lysine could be worth a try but is unlikely to be a miracle. I found a site about eccentric calf stretching on stairs and will devote a few minutes a day to this before and after work. I am sure that I will not need surgery but if it does develop into a chronic condition, I am aware of an alternative treatment called prolotherapy, which is a series of injections into the tendon that often results in strengthening of both the affected tendon and surrounding muscles. That will be the last resort if all else fails.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Officially sidelined
Bad news. On this, my second day of rest, the muscle soreness has diminished but the pain in my achilles tendon has not improved and it remains slightly swollen.
This pretty much puts the kibosh on my Spring racing season. Based on what I have read and what's going on, it's looking like I will be out for 4-8 weeks so here's what it means.
Austin- out
Mercedes- doubtful
Atlanta- questionable
Nashville- probable
It's unlikely that I will be even close to PR shape even in Nashville which is 3 months away. I am not in any rush to come back. I will rest as long as necessary to make sure that I am 100% healed. For those of you who did not read my last novel of a post, here's a brief explanation of what went wrong:
I had some significant tightness in my calf due to imbalances and other treatments that did not work and the 13 mile progression run on Sunday simply put too much stress on my Achilles tendon. A 2.5 mile cool down proved to be a very bad call. I blame my unbalanced body chemistry, not my training regimen. I have no real regrets about training for a 3:10 BQ marathon. I had to try. I knew the risks and felt that I was ready. I have failed but at least I know that I gave it an honest effort.
In the future:
Until further notice, I am through with marathons. I will stick with 5Ks, 10Ks, half marathons and any other distance in between. You can finish a marathon on 35-40 MPW which I did in 2008 in Eugene (time was 3:56) but you will not get optimal results unless you train at 60+. That type of mileage is very time consuming and presents a high risk of injury. I can handle the 26.2 mile distance a couple of times a year. As hard as it is to race that distance, it is actually the easy part. 95% of marathon starters make it to the finish line. You are more likely to fail to make it to the starting line just because the training is so grueling especially if you are seeking optimal results. In a half marathon, you can get good results on 45-50 MPW. In fact, I believe that 50 MPW is all that I need to meet my goal of a sub-1:30 half, sub-40 10K and a sub-19 5K so that's where the focus will be in the future. I will not say that I will never run a marathon again. A clean bill of health could change everything that I just wrote. In 2014, I will be 34 years old, which is younger than Geb when he set the world record and the BQ standard will relax to a 3:15, which is 11 seconds per mile slower than a 3:10. Maybe I will be in balance by then.
This pretty much puts the kibosh on my Spring racing season. Based on what I have read and what's going on, it's looking like I will be out for 4-8 weeks so here's what it means.
Austin- out
Mercedes- doubtful
Atlanta- questionable
Nashville- probable
It's unlikely that I will be even close to PR shape even in Nashville which is 3 months away. I am not in any rush to come back. I will rest as long as necessary to make sure that I am 100% healed. For those of you who did not read my last novel of a post, here's a brief explanation of what went wrong:
I had some significant tightness in my calf due to imbalances and other treatments that did not work and the 13 mile progression run on Sunday simply put too much stress on my Achilles tendon. A 2.5 mile cool down proved to be a very bad call. I blame my unbalanced body chemistry, not my training regimen. I have no real regrets about training for a 3:10 BQ marathon. I had to try. I knew the risks and felt that I was ready. I have failed but at least I know that I gave it an honest effort.
In the future:
Until further notice, I am through with marathons. I will stick with 5Ks, 10Ks, half marathons and any other distance in between. You can finish a marathon on 35-40 MPW which I did in 2008 in Eugene (time was 3:56) but you will not get optimal results unless you train at 60+. That type of mileage is very time consuming and presents a high risk of injury. I can handle the 26.2 mile distance a couple of times a year. As hard as it is to race that distance, it is actually the easy part. 95% of marathon starters make it to the finish line. You are more likely to fail to make it to the starting line just because the training is so grueling especially if you are seeking optimal results. In a half marathon, you can get good results on 45-50 MPW. In fact, I believe that 50 MPW is all that I need to meet my goal of a sub-1:30 half, sub-40 10K and a sub-19 5K so that's where the focus will be in the future. I will not say that I will never run a marathon again. A clean bill of health could change everything that I just wrote. In 2014, I will be 34 years old, which is younger than Geb when he set the world record and the BQ standard will relax to a 3:15, which is 11 seconds per mile slower than a 3:10. Maybe I will be in balance by then.
Monday, January 18, 2010
medical report and injury scare
I'll start with the good news:
Up until yesterday, I felt like I was making fine progress and was much better off than I was 6 months ago at the time of my last medical report.
-4 out of the 6 ratios are within the normal range. Tissue sodium fell from an off the scale reading of 89 down to 51 (ideal is 25-30). Tissue potassium fell from 20-15 and is now in the normal (not ideal) range.
-Despite the fact that I stopped supplementing with zinc, manganese and chromium, none of those values changed significantly. Zn and Mn actually rose slightly (only Mn is normal).
-Tissue copper rose from 1.2 to 1.6 and is now within the normal range.
-The adrenal fatigue ratio (Na/K) is 3.4 (normal is 2.5-4.0) so I can't get much better in that all important area. That one is most important.
The two ratios that are outside of the normal range are very bad. They are also 2 of the 3 most important ratios and have to do with thyroid and adrenal function. Both are significantly overactive to the point in which it is causing significant energy loss and poor connective tissue healing, which has left me vulnerable to injury. Neither ratio improved significantly since the last test. The adrenal hormone ratio, which is different from adrenal fatigue got slightly better while the thyroid got worse so figure it's a wash overall.
The only thing I can do is increase my Lithium dosage but even that may not be enough.
The injury scare:
My achilles tendon is very sore. It actually hurts to walk and it is a little bit swollen in a localized area. Some of my readers will tell me that I was asking for injury all along with my intense training, which included pushing too hard on easy days. Part of me agrees and part of me disagrees. My response is that with few exceptions, my easy runs were in the 7:45-8:00 range, which is at the fast end but still in the range prescribed for someone with my 5K time according to the McMillan calculator. Second, the intensity of the runs seemed to be within my capacity. Third, since the McMillan calculator is designed for 70-80 MPW athletes and I am only running 50-60, it's okay to be a little fast. Runners who train at 80+ should be slower.
I have managed to avoid a running related overuse injury for the first 3 years of my comeback. In fact, outside of a couple of freak sprained ankles, I had not had a running related injury since 2001 and even that one was directly related to my hyperthyroid condition.
Here's what did go wrong:
First, as stated in the medical report, my body is out of balance and I truly thought that my thyroid and adrenal hormone ratios would be better so I was more vulnerable to injury than I realized. Second, the fact that I had tried a couple of new approaches this past week that didn't work caused even more stiffness and further stressed my connective tissues. Bottom line, if I was in balance, these workouts would be a breeze. Third, when my tarsal tunnel flared up a bit, I ran through it thinking that the new approaches to treatment would solve it as it had in the past. Fourth, when I first felt the achilles pain during my cool down, I did not stop immediately. That was very stupid.
Where to go from here:
I do have some localized pain but my entire body is sore, especially the calves and groin area. When I bend down to touch my toes, I can't get much more than halfway between the bottom of my knee and my shoe top. Stretching my groin actually causes my lower abdominal muscles to hurt. Therefore, I am still holding on to hope that 2-3 days off will do the trick. If I had localized pain while the rest of my body felt great, then I would know that I am really injured, not just extremely sore. The more time that passes without improvement, the bleaker the situation becomes. That said, even if by some miracle, my AT heals and I am able to run well by the end of the week, my dream of a 3:10 BQ in 2010 ends here. Aside from not stopping immediately during yesterday's cool down jog, there's not a lot I regret. The one thing that I will change is the 3-4 mile recovery jogs at cool down pace will be replaced by a day of complete rest. I know that it will require 60 MPW to get into BQ shape and as of now, my body simply cannot handle it. In running as well as anything else in life, you never know what you are capable of unless you try your best. I had to try and I have failed. The only way that I will change my mind about a December BQ attempt is a medical report with everything in the normal range next time. That seems unlikely. When I turn 34 in 2014, I still believe I will be at my peak and the BQ standard will relax to 3:15 at which time, I might try again. Part of me wants to quit marathons altogether and just focus on the 5K-half marathon distances where it is possible to get good results on less than 50 MPW, presents less risk of injury and is not as time consuming.
Self-pity part:
Why did this have to happen now after my last hard week before my trip to Texas after which I would begin tapering for Mercedes? Couldn't this wait until the summer or at least after Mercedes? Of the 4 planned races, Austin was the one that I least wanted to miss with it being a blazing fast course and a chance to see a HS buddy. I wouldn't be too upset about missing Mercedes since I ran the half last year and already have an unofficial marathon PR this year. After Mercedes, I would have taken a week or two off then ran a half in Atlanta for fun on a tough course so it's not that big of a deal to miss that one either. In April, I've got Nashville and I feel good about being able to do that one.
All of that said, I have been through a lot worse than this so even if my worst fears about this injury are realized, I am confident that I will come back and PR again.
Up until yesterday, I felt like I was making fine progress and was much better off than I was 6 months ago at the time of my last medical report.
-4 out of the 6 ratios are within the normal range. Tissue sodium fell from an off the scale reading of 89 down to 51 (ideal is 25-30). Tissue potassium fell from 20-15 and is now in the normal (not ideal) range.
-Despite the fact that I stopped supplementing with zinc, manganese and chromium, none of those values changed significantly. Zn and Mn actually rose slightly (only Mn is normal).
-Tissue copper rose from 1.2 to 1.6 and is now within the normal range.
-The adrenal fatigue ratio (Na/K) is 3.4 (normal is 2.5-4.0) so I can't get much better in that all important area. That one is most important.
The two ratios that are outside of the normal range are very bad. They are also 2 of the 3 most important ratios and have to do with thyroid and adrenal function. Both are significantly overactive to the point in which it is causing significant energy loss and poor connective tissue healing, which has left me vulnerable to injury. Neither ratio improved significantly since the last test. The adrenal hormone ratio, which is different from adrenal fatigue got slightly better while the thyroid got worse so figure it's a wash overall.
The only thing I can do is increase my Lithium dosage but even that may not be enough.
The injury scare:
My achilles tendon is very sore. It actually hurts to walk and it is a little bit swollen in a localized area. Some of my readers will tell me that I was asking for injury all along with my intense training, which included pushing too hard on easy days. Part of me agrees and part of me disagrees. My response is that with few exceptions, my easy runs were in the 7:45-8:00 range, which is at the fast end but still in the range prescribed for someone with my 5K time according to the McMillan calculator. Second, the intensity of the runs seemed to be within my capacity. Third, since the McMillan calculator is designed for 70-80 MPW athletes and I am only running 50-60, it's okay to be a little fast. Runners who train at 80+ should be slower.
I have managed to avoid a running related overuse injury for the first 3 years of my comeback. In fact, outside of a couple of freak sprained ankles, I had not had a running related injury since 2001 and even that one was directly related to my hyperthyroid condition.
Here's what did go wrong:
First, as stated in the medical report, my body is out of balance and I truly thought that my thyroid and adrenal hormone ratios would be better so I was more vulnerable to injury than I realized. Second, the fact that I had tried a couple of new approaches this past week that didn't work caused even more stiffness and further stressed my connective tissues. Bottom line, if I was in balance, these workouts would be a breeze. Third, when my tarsal tunnel flared up a bit, I ran through it thinking that the new approaches to treatment would solve it as it had in the past. Fourth, when I first felt the achilles pain during my cool down, I did not stop immediately. That was very stupid.
Where to go from here:
I do have some localized pain but my entire body is sore, especially the calves and groin area. When I bend down to touch my toes, I can't get much more than halfway between the bottom of my knee and my shoe top. Stretching my groin actually causes my lower abdominal muscles to hurt. Therefore, I am still holding on to hope that 2-3 days off will do the trick. If I had localized pain while the rest of my body felt great, then I would know that I am really injured, not just extremely sore. The more time that passes without improvement, the bleaker the situation becomes. That said, even if by some miracle, my AT heals and I am able to run well by the end of the week, my dream of a 3:10 BQ in 2010 ends here. Aside from not stopping immediately during yesterday's cool down jog, there's not a lot I regret. The one thing that I will change is the 3-4 mile recovery jogs at cool down pace will be replaced by a day of complete rest. I know that it will require 60 MPW to get into BQ shape and as of now, my body simply cannot handle it. In running as well as anything else in life, you never know what you are capable of unless you try your best. I had to try and I have failed. The only way that I will change my mind about a December BQ attempt is a medical report with everything in the normal range next time. That seems unlikely. When I turn 34 in 2014, I still believe I will be at my peak and the BQ standard will relax to 3:15 at which time, I might try again. Part of me wants to quit marathons altogether and just focus on the 5K-half marathon distances where it is possible to get good results on less than 50 MPW, presents less risk of injury and is not as time consuming.
Self-pity part:
Why did this have to happen now after my last hard week before my trip to Texas after which I would begin tapering for Mercedes? Couldn't this wait until the summer or at least after Mercedes? Of the 4 planned races, Austin was the one that I least wanted to miss with it being a blazing fast course and a chance to see a HS buddy. I wouldn't be too upset about missing Mercedes since I ran the half last year and already have an unofficial marathon PR this year. After Mercedes, I would have taken a week or two off then ran a half in Atlanta for fun on a tough course so it's not that big of a deal to miss that one either. In April, I've got Nashville and I feel good about being able to do that one.
All of that said, I have been through a lot worse than this so even if my worst fears about this injury are realized, I am confident that I will come back and PR again.
NFL playoffs 3rd and final
3-1 record this weekend, which evens me up at 4-4 overall. My Super Bowl pick didn't show up to play. For championship weekend:
Indy vs. NYJ- It's ironic. The only reason that the NYJ are in the playoffs at all let alone the AFC championship is the fact that Indy put in their scrubs in the 2nd half of the regular season game. What a cruel twist of fate it would be if that same team prevented Indy from making it to the Super Bowl! I'm rooting for New York but I don't see them winning. Both of Indy's playoff opponents had 9-7 regular season records. That may be the easiest path to the Super Bowl in history.
MIN vs. NO- If both teams show up to play, this one could be a classic. I picked MIN to represent the NFC on my first post and will stick with them.
I'm picking Indy to win it all and I expect that they will be favored. That said, both MIN and NO have about an equal chance of pulling off the upset. As for the NYJ, I've taken them lightly all the way and they've proven me wrong but another upset victory would be a huge long shot. Odds of a Super Bowl win are even longer.
Odds of winning:
Indy- 50%
MIN- 25 %
NO- 20 %
NYJ- 5%
Edit: As for personal preferences, I guess I'm rooting slightly for MIN over NO. I'm sour on Indy because of the way they finished the regular season. I don't have a problem with resting some of the starters but please, let the 2nd team play to win. Who knows, there could be a potential superstar on the bench and a time like that, rather than preseason when some of the competition will be bagging groceries in a few weeks, is the best time to evaluate the players. I feel that there are of lot of 2nd string players who have star potential that never get a real chance to play. If Bledsoe did not get hurt, Tom Brady may never have gotten a chance to start.
Why am I rooting for MIN over NO?
Even though I don't like how Favre flip flopped on retirement, I have a lot of respect for someone who has been written off countless times as too old and played through pain week in and week out for so long. Also, Adrian Peterson had to overcome a lot of injuries in college and seems to have a great attiitude. Lastly, I didn't have the greatest experience on a visit to the city of New Orleans. I almost got robbed on Bourbon Street by a man well known to police and was lucky that an officer was on the scene.
Indy vs. NYJ- It's ironic. The only reason that the NYJ are in the playoffs at all let alone the AFC championship is the fact that Indy put in their scrubs in the 2nd half of the regular season game. What a cruel twist of fate it would be if that same team prevented Indy from making it to the Super Bowl! I'm rooting for New York but I don't see them winning. Both of Indy's playoff opponents had 9-7 regular season records. That may be the easiest path to the Super Bowl in history.
MIN vs. NO- If both teams show up to play, this one could be a classic. I picked MIN to represent the NFC on my first post and will stick with them.
I'm picking Indy to win it all and I expect that they will be favored. That said, both MIN and NO have about an equal chance of pulling off the upset. As for the NYJ, I've taken them lightly all the way and they've proven me wrong but another upset victory would be a huge long shot. Odds of a Super Bowl win are even longer.
Odds of winning:
Indy- 50%
MIN- 25 %
NO- 20 %
NYJ- 5%
Edit: As for personal preferences, I guess I'm rooting slightly for MIN over NO. I'm sour on Indy because of the way they finished the regular season. I don't have a problem with resting some of the starters but please, let the 2nd team play to win. Who knows, there could be a potential superstar on the bench and a time like that, rather than preseason when some of the competition will be bagging groceries in a few weeks, is the best time to evaluate the players. I feel that there are of lot of 2nd string players who have star potential that never get a real chance to play. If Bledsoe did not get hurt, Tom Brady may never have gotten a chance to start.
Why am I rooting for MIN over NO?
Even though I don't like how Favre flip flopped on retirement, I have a lot of respect for someone who has been written off countless times as too old and played through pain week in and week out for so long. Also, Adrian Peterson had to overcome a lot of injuries in college and seems to have a great attiitude. Lastly, I didn't have the greatest experience on a visit to the city of New Orleans. I almost got robbed on Bourbon Street by a man well known to police and was lucky that an officer was on the scene.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Rant: cheating among athletes
Okay, so Mark McGwire "came clean" and admitted what we already knew. He used steroids when he played baseball. You could say that he doesn't deserve to be slammed by the media because he is otherwise a law abiding citizen. A murderer or a rapist may not even make the news and yes his wrongs are infinitely worse than someone who simply cheats in professional sports and doesn't harm anyone thus we should not so hard on him. That's certainly a valid point but it's the price you pay for living in celeb obsessed culture. As for McGwire, I will not attack him too hard personally but I do want to address an attitude that I find disturbing not just among athletes caught cheating but society as a whole.
As a quick clarification, some people say steroids were not banned by MLB at the time. That's not true. Commissioner Fay Vincent imposed a ban on steroid use way back in 1991. It was simply not enforced for more than a decade.
My problem is with people who may apologize then proceed to make excuses for their bad behavior or simply say "I made a mistake." First, a mistake is a one time indiscretion not a lifestyle pattern over a period of a whole decade. My father told me a story of someone in the Army who got busted for something and he told the Sergeant: "Sir, I done wrong. I know I done wrong and I can't undo the wrong that I done." Aside from the poor grammar, an attitude like that will earn my respect. For the record, he received no punishment from the Sergeant. McGwire says that he used steroids primarily to recover more quickly from injuries and that he had good years in which he did not use at all. He also said that he didn't feel like he was cheating and could have hit 70 home runs clean. It's a lame excuse and I don't buy it. I believe that he used for most of his career and the times in which he was clean were the exception rather than the rule. McGwire played through 2001 and claimed that he stopped steroids after 1999 yet he looked just as big back in'01 as when he broke the record in 1998 and it was not until he retired that his body shape changed so drastically. Some of them say that they didn't know that what they took was steroids. If you buy that, I've got some beachfront property in North Dakota that I will sell you at a discount price. I've taken some powerful supplements (all legal) and in many cases, felt the effects within hours. These anabolic steroids are MUCH more powerful than anything I have taken. Don't insult my intelligence by saying that you didn't know or didn't gain any benefit from it especially being athletes so well in tuned with their bodies.
If an athlete had simply that yes, he used steroids and the reason was to gain the edge on the competition, make more money and more fame then admitted that he was terribly wrong and nothing excuses it. That's a respectable answer yet nobody will come out and say that. McGwire is not going to make the Hall of Fame and nor will anyone else linked to steroid use. Let's say that a teacher catches a student cheating. Does he or she say that the student would have passed without cheating and give him/her a "C" No, the cheater gets an "F," a zero to be exact. That's how many home runs these cheaters have honestly.
Track and field athletes are not much better. I once read an anonymous survey of 2 questions. 1.) Would you take steroids if there was an absolute guarantee that you would never be caught? 2.) If taking a pill would guarantee that you would win every competition for 5 years then kill you soon after that period, would you do it?
Sadly, a significant percentage answered yes to both of those questions.
As for #1, that really underscores just how little integrity is valued and the moral bankruptcy in our society. As for #2, it saddens me more than anyone else. 5 years out of 80 is only 1/16 of your life and for someone to have priorities that far out of whack is almost incomprehensible. I am a Christian and try to focus on an eternal perspective. I am not going to minimize the here and now but to take it to that extreme blows my mind and I cannot even think of the right words to explain just wrong it is to essentially kill yourself in order to cheat to victory. Sickening! That's all I've got to say.
As a quick clarification, some people say steroids were not banned by MLB at the time. That's not true. Commissioner Fay Vincent imposed a ban on steroid use way back in 1991. It was simply not enforced for more than a decade.
My problem is with people who may apologize then proceed to make excuses for their bad behavior or simply say "I made a mistake." First, a mistake is a one time indiscretion not a lifestyle pattern over a period of a whole decade. My father told me a story of someone in the Army who got busted for something and he told the Sergeant: "Sir, I done wrong. I know I done wrong and I can't undo the wrong that I done." Aside from the poor grammar, an attitude like that will earn my respect. For the record, he received no punishment from the Sergeant. McGwire says that he used steroids primarily to recover more quickly from injuries and that he had good years in which he did not use at all. He also said that he didn't feel like he was cheating and could have hit 70 home runs clean. It's a lame excuse and I don't buy it. I believe that he used for most of his career and the times in which he was clean were the exception rather than the rule. McGwire played through 2001 and claimed that he stopped steroids after 1999 yet he looked just as big back in'01 as when he broke the record in 1998 and it was not until he retired that his body shape changed so drastically. Some of them say that they didn't know that what they took was steroids. If you buy that, I've got some beachfront property in North Dakota that I will sell you at a discount price. I've taken some powerful supplements (all legal) and in many cases, felt the effects within hours. These anabolic steroids are MUCH more powerful than anything I have taken. Don't insult my intelligence by saying that you didn't know or didn't gain any benefit from it especially being athletes so well in tuned with their bodies.
If an athlete had simply that yes, he used steroids and the reason was to gain the edge on the competition, make more money and more fame then admitted that he was terribly wrong and nothing excuses it. That's a respectable answer yet nobody will come out and say that. McGwire is not going to make the Hall of Fame and nor will anyone else linked to steroid use. Let's say that a teacher catches a student cheating. Does he or she say that the student would have passed without cheating and give him/her a "C" No, the cheater gets an "F," a zero to be exact. That's how many home runs these cheaters have honestly.
Track and field athletes are not much better. I once read an anonymous survey of 2 questions. 1.) Would you take steroids if there was an absolute guarantee that you would never be caught? 2.) If taking a pill would guarantee that you would win every competition for 5 years then kill you soon after that period, would you do it?
Sadly, a significant percentage answered yes to both of those questions.
As for #1, that really underscores just how little integrity is valued and the moral bankruptcy in our society. As for #2, it saddens me more than anyone else. 5 years out of 80 is only 1/16 of your life and for someone to have priorities that far out of whack is almost incomprehensible. I am a Christian and try to focus on an eternal perspective. I am not going to minimize the here and now but to take it to that extreme blows my mind and I cannot even think of the right words to explain just wrong it is to essentially kill yourself in order to cheat to victory. Sickening! That's all I've got to say.
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