I need to preface this by saying that things almost certainly would have turned out differently if I had been healthy in my prime years. I cannot change the past but can make the best of what is to come and there is still a chance that God can work it together for good. For anyone that has looked down on me because I never date, consider the truth about my condition. I've gone through periods in which I literally went to bed fatigued and lethargic then woke up the next morning feeling very over stimulated. Countless times, I flipped from one side of the spectrum to the other because of a single dose of the wrong pill. Add to that was the factor that the magic formula shifted without notice. Could you live with somebody like that? I don't think so. It's not so much the fatigue that is the killer but rather the instability. Now that my liver function (body's CPU) has improved and I have found supplements to reduce the sensitivity, I MIGHT be level enough for a healthy relationship soon. So what am I looking for in a woman?
I am going to trust that if the relationship is ordained by God, the attraction is going to be there. I really cannot say what I find appealing but I know it when I see it. What are you getting yourself into with me? I'm a bit on the introverted side but I will open up quickly to the right person and expect that my confidence will increase as I get consistently healthy. Common interests are important to me and aside from God and running, travel comes next. I've been to 48 U.S. states, 5 Canadian provinces and 5 foreign countries. I'm in okay financial shape with stable employment but don't really care about material possessions so long as I have a reliable car and a roof over my head in a safe neighborhood and I could not care less about the latest fashion trends. What I will give you is unconditional love and loyalty. While I am certainly not perfect, I will apologize if I ever hurt you regardless of whether I was right or wrong. The relationship means more than my ego. I expect that I will naturally gravitate towards somebody with a similar background and education but I'm not going to say never if the connection is there. In fact, I only have 3 non-negotiable issues.
1.Committed Christian who shares my values- This is THE most non-negotiable of the 3. I will know her by the fruit that she bears and it won't take long to tell if her faith is genuine. If it's not, I trust that I will be wise enough to walk away no matter how much I am attracted. I am looking for someone who will inspire me to grow closer to God rather than drift apart. I want someone who will bring out the best in me and I hope to bring out the best in her.
2. Healthy lifestyle- Self-destructive behaviors such as eating disorders, binge drinking, drug use and smoking are all deal breakers for me. I don't want to sound too judgmental here because I have met a few super nice girls who smoke cigarettes. That's not a barrier to friendship but when it comes to dating, I'm afraid it is. If you fall into the other categories, I don't think that you are necessarily a bad person but your lifestyle is simply incompatible with mine.
With that being said, I do have some reservations about dating a serious marathoner because I don't want our relationship to be defined by running. What happens if one of us gets hurt or loses interest? I think I'd actually prefer a more casual runner and do think that even a non-runner who works out at the gym could definitely work. She will have to be supportive of my running and not object to group runs with a few other females (mostly married). I can see how 80+ MPW could potentially put a strain on a relationship but I intend to stay in the 40-range and top out in the 50s only if I'm training for a marathon. I think that's pretty reasonable and no different than someone who works 1 hour overtime per day.
3. Must support my cause- I may be getting greedy but here it is. I've been called arrogant and pedantic for suggesting that I am on a mission to fight chemical imbalances, share the Gospel and bring hope to others suffering from this disease. Perhaps their attitude might change if they knew the truth. Let them see with their own eyes what happens if I take the wrong pills and let them read some of the e-mail I get from people I've never met who describe in detail the pain that they are facing both physically and emotionally. I will go as far as to say that I predict that my future wife will be also be getting healthy through natural medicine.
One of my friends came up to me with tears in her eyes and said that I have "a beautiful heart." When it comes to a life partner, I want somebody who thinks that highly of me and my mission. If she cannot match the support I've gotten from my best friends, she may very well be a great person with many admirable qualities but not the right one for me. I may be hurt and disappointed but I'll know it's the right decision to move on. For the record, if she embraces a noble cause, YES I will give her my full support and be her #1 fan.