Forced off the pills again. Test results coming.

Those of you who read this blog with any regularity have a basic idea of what it's like to be chemically unstable.  As evidenced by my 10K PR in a solo time trial that was sandwiched in between 2 rather mediocre race efforts, even 1/2 of 1 Thym-Adren pill for even 1-2 days can impact my performance by 20-30 seconds per mile. That would not be so bad if I took the same thing every day with an adjustment every month or so but when you're shooting at a moving target, it's very difficult.   If I remain at a dosage that is too high or too low, I will barely be able to run at all.  Remember my 3 @ 8:09 pace that got slower and slower as it progressed.  You might think that I would be super excited to be off those suckers but I am not.  I'm more worried than excited and based on my history, that emotion is totally appropriate.  What makes me so uneasy is that I was not merely freed from dependence on them, I was forced off.  Even small amounts of what was previously the magic bullet pill will make me sick.  I sent in my hair sample just before Thanksgiving and expect to get the results in about 10 more days.  If my medical report shows that I am in relative balance, I will know that I have won the war!!  If not, I have to find yet another piece of the puzzle that explains why I cannot tolerate pills that should be working to get me towards balance.  It could be another enzyme issue.  What will happen if I don't take the pills when I am out of balance?  I'll have several weeks of very good health followed by a HARD crash in which the emotional pain of a relapse after false hope is much tougher than the physical pain.

As I've stated previously, I really wish that I had started this blog when began my comeback in October 2006 by doing more walking than jogging.  I had no idea that I would progress so far.  Back in 2007, I was diagnosed with deficiencies in adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin and GABA in addition to thyroid problems, blood sugar issues and full blown adrenal exhaustion.  At one point, I was taking 10 different pills.  How many of them did I need to take every day or else?  At least 5.  In addition to pills to get my body chemistry in balance, I needed to take tyrosine+C for adrenaline and dopamine as well as 5HTP+taurine for GABA and serotonin.  Thus, I was shooting at 4 different moving targets so you can guess the results.  Every week, I usually had 2-3 days in which I could barely run at all but my patience and persistence paid off.  In 2007, my half marathon time improved from a 1:59 in March (Seaside) to a 1:48 in Memphis (St. Jude).  In 2008, I was able to gradually wean myself off the neurotransmitter support and YES, I was forced off that stuff too but I got a medical report at the end of 2008 that showed that I was producing the right amount of adrenaline.  Thus, I knew that I had won that battle.  Most patients have to take small amounts for maintenance but I do not and would get sick if I did take any.  4 years later, I still don't need it.  Taurine gave me fits for another year and a half.  I usually needed exactly 1,000 mg (neither more nor less) but I was forced off that stuff too in mid-2010.  Again, I still do not need it and would get sick if I took too much of it.

My doctor warned me that it is common to see a patient who escaped adrenal burnout go into hyperdrive shortly thereafter.  That's exactly what happened to me.  For a time, I had to take Lithium to slow my system down but when I was forced off it in Fall 2010, I believed that I was healed even though the medical report told a different story about my chemistry.  I trained my heart out for Huntsville Rocket City but crashed hard with a nasty knee injury and worsening imbalances.  I tried 2 other pills to get the job done before eventually settling back to Thym-Adren in mid-2011.  At the end of the year, I was forced off and had a great 1st quarter of 2012.  Gradually, my sugar intolerance worsened but after a prolonged slump, I discovered fructosin which had the effect of forcing me back on Thym-Adren. Perhaps, it was only a temporary reaction.  Now, I have been forced off again.  Can I stay off like what happend with the neurotransmitters?  The answer will come with the medical report.  It's all in God's hands.  I've fought this with all my mind, body and spirit and there is nothing more that I can do.

If I have a take fructosin long term for preventative maintenance, I'm fine with that because I know that I will not have a reaction if I miss a dose every now and then.  I will not tolerate instabilty and moving targets and nobody who lives with me will either.  That's why I don't have a girlfriend.  On a somewhat selfish note, what if I run a 5:00 mile or 17:50 5K? I really believe that I am capable of it if I am balanced and can train at a high level for about a year.   Everyone in the track club will want to know what I have been doing and there will be much more interest in my story.  Of course, my motive is not personal glory but to help others with chemical imbalances and yes, glorify God in doing so.