This post is not primarily about racism but I need to get one thing off my chest. I've noticed that many people put on a fake southern accent when making a mockery of racists. As someone with a real southern accent, that does bother me. I've met northerners who have made horrible racist comments to me under the assumption that I agreed with them. They were quite surprised when I told them that I did not. I'd wager that the average person in the South today is less racist than the rest of the country. Unfortunately, the ones that are tend to be in your face about it. Indeed, I have encountered a few people who regularly use the n-word, which is disgusting in any context.
Northern racism is more subtle but just as offensive. I heard about a black kid from Pennsylvania who wanted to play football on a predominantly white team. Other players talked about hazing him and excluding him from parties in hopes that he would quit the team. If I were in his position, I think I'd rather be told to my face that I am being excluded because of my race.
Imagine that you are an NFL hopeful who was a standout in college but projected to be a late round draft pick and on the roster bubble. You live and breathe football for 8 months but at the end of August, you get the bad news. When cutting a player, most coaches try to sugar coat it with statements like 'You're a great player but there's not a fit for you on this team." Cut the crap, especially if it's not a winning team. Just tell me the truth. I'm not fast enough or I have another weakness that you believe would prevent me from being successful in the NFL. A few of those guys might catch on with another team after a stint in the UFL but most will never play their beloved game again. I really do feel for them.
Back to my situation. Suppose that I grew up with an Autism diagnosis. How much differently would I have been treated versus being undiagnosed? Maybe not so much. I probably would have faced less severe bullying but just as much subtle rejection. Surveys show that a sizeable percentage of the population won't even date anyone with a diagnosis. Have the guts to tell me that to my face and never lead me on if you are not interested.
A few years ago, I saw a girl that I used to run with at church. After I told her that I had not been well recently, she actually asked me out for coffee. Yes, I was interested but didn't make it too obvious. I didn't expect it would lead to anything beyond friendship but she would have been HIGHLY valued if we did this with any regularity. When I texted her to set up a time, she was always busy. Then she posted pictures with her dog at the park. She chose her dog over me. Very hurtful.
I think I'd rather be told something like this:
I just don't like you well enough to hang out one on one. You've got too many annoying quirks that get on my nerves a little bit. Don't ask again.
My exception to this rule is willful ignorance. Someone else rejected my friendship because I was too negative and judged me for being single. Maybe I would be more positive if I had encouraging friends. Nevermind that this person had been through a bitter divorce and posted death threats against her ex. She told me that I just need to love myself. That's one of the most ignorant and hurtful things to say to people with chemical imbalances. I was flabbergasted that someone who used to read my blog would say that. Good riddance.
Getting back to the racism angle, I know what it's like to be mistreated for being different from others and I share your outrage.
No comments:
Post a Comment