When to Apologize and When Not to

I remember one of my posts about relationships a few years back.  I said that if you say or do something hurtful to your friend or especially your significant other, you need to swallow your pride and apologize even if you don't believe that you did anything wrong.  The other party also needs to apologize if they over-reacted to it.  I still stand by that assertion as long as it does not occur on a regular basis.  Now, suppose that your significant other consistently throws a hissy fit over trivial things and attacks you viciously for no good reason.  Get out of the relationship if you are not married.  See a counselor if you are.  This is not healthy.  You are dealing with somebody who has unrealistic expectations.  Even if you bend over backwards for them, it won't be enough to keep them happy over the long haul.

Now let's shift gears back to politics:
Huffpost wrote a garbage article on white privilege.  To their credit, it did say that you could still face hardship but the color of your skin won't hold you back in your personal or professional life.  I disagree.  When it comes to affirmative action, I actually favor giving all economically disadvantaged students a leg up in college admissions.  They don't have access to the best teachers and may not be able to afford tutors or test prep classes.  For example, if everything else is equal, I'd have no problem with an 1150 SAT from a poor school being chosen over a 1200 from a top school.  However, it should absolutely NOT be based on race.  I've heard of less qualified black or Latino students being accepted over white or Asian students despite the fact that they attended the same school and even lived in the same neighborhood.  To me, that is reverse discrimination.  So yes, it can hold you back professionally. 

If you are labeled a racist, that charge is very difficult to refute and you could see your reputation tarnished forever no matter how much you apologize.  Now, if you let hate speech come out of your mouth or blatantly espouse inherent racial superiority, you BETTER hang your head in shame.  You would be well advised to keep a low profile for quite some time.  That said, some people change and if the repentance is genuine, they should be forgiven and given a second chance but not a third.

What if you are accused of racism and the charge is totally bogus?  Serious question.  How would you defend yourself?  The black friend defense never works and is often considered offensive by the Left.  Conservatives have actually been accused of using black people as cover.  If anyone ever said that about me, words cannot express how angry it would make me.  I'm quite sure that my friends would be offended by the suggestion as well.  Seriously, if you have a close friend who experiences racism and you see how much it hurts them, I'm betting that you will be more motivated to take a stronger stance against it.  I know because it had the same effect on me.  I've heard encouraging stories of Neo-Nazis renouncing their hatred.  If you ask them what changed their mind, they will almost always say that they were befriended by a person who is a racial minority.

Chris Hodges, who is a megachurch pastor here in Birmingham, simply liked a couple of controversial posts on social media.  One referred to COVID-19 as the Chinese virus.  No problem with that.  I've got nothing against the Chinese people but do have issues with the government and some people believe the virus was manufactured in a lab.  The other showed Trump pictured with Rosa Parks and Mohammad Ali while Gov. Northam, a Democrat was pictured in blackface next to a man in a KKK robe and asked who's the racist?  Again, I see nothing wrong with that.  For the record, I am not the biggest fan of his church and its theology but in this case, the pastor did absolutely nothing wrong.  It is also true that he's performed tremendous outreach in the predominantly black Woodlawn neighborhood.  The next week, he preached an entire sermon against racism.  I didn't listen but heard it was quite good.  He tearfully apologized and even confessed to privilege and unconscious bias.  Still, it wasn't good enough.  He lost his lease on one of his buildings and his reputation has taken a big hit.  I'll bet there will soon be calls for his resignation, which he should absolutely fight.  On the other hand, Jeremiah Wright, can spew his hatred every Sunday and he only came under scrutiny because he was Obama's pastor.  Racial minorities most definitely have a greater license to intolerance than do white people.

Drew Brees apologized for saying that everyone should stand for the National Anthem.
Chick-Fil-A apologized for allowing employees to wear Back the Blue Shirts.
A town apologized for letting cops use bathrooms in a certain building
COPS and Live PD were taken off the air.
OK State football coach Mike Gundy apologized for wearing a One America News t-shirt off campus.

A friend of mine took heat for saying that being black has NOT held him back in life.
Another person was blasted for saying that life decisions rather than color are the best predictors of success.  A Lefty countered that we can't expect black people to make good decisions, which is very racist if you ask me. Soft bigotry of low expectations.

If you express a well reasoned position that is within the mainstream of American thought or expose the ugly side of their movement, DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR OFFENDING A LEFTIST!  It will not be accepted anyway so why bother?  Stand up for yourself, especially when you did nothing wrong.  I didn't vote for Trump in the 2016 primary because of his character and demeanor but I've come to realize that we need a man like him to stand up to a blatantly dishonest media.   Now, there are some mainstream liberals that can have a reasonable and productive dialogue.  I would encourage that to seek some common ground.  When it comes to the Far-Left who will not accept anything less than revolution to overthrow the whole system, don't even engage.  The Snooze and Unfollow has become quite useful.

As for the future, I'm afraid that the chasm between Left and Right is too great that it cannot be bridged.  Some have suggested an amicable divorce between Red and Blue.  I'd hate to see it come to that.  Because almost all states have some red and some blue counties, how to divide it up won't be easy.  My worst fear is that we are headed for a small scale Civil War.  It won't be North/South or even Red/Blue but likely Antifa and their Leftist allies versus the rest of us.  The former group represents a relatively small minority but they are quite vocal and can do a lot of damage.  I sincerely do hope that I am wrong about this.  It remains to be seen how the riots will affect the Electorate and I will not make any predictions.