3/25- Temps in the 40s with blustery conditions so I stayed inside. I went with the conservative option today: 1-1 ratio of Cal/Mag, no C, Fructosin and 4 Thym-Adren. Overall, I finished 6 miles in 44:10 (7:22 pace). Felt good for the first 2 miles then it got harder in Mile 3. Passed 5 miles in 37:14 (7:27 pace) then turned it up a notch for a 6:56 last mile. It's another workout that will do just fine for a planned easy day but I would have struggled in a quality session. As for the Cal/Mag, the exact doses were 500 mg. of each. A 5:3 ratio or a 5:7 ratio would have sucked! Just another day in the life of Crazy J. As for the Thym-Adren, it felt like 4 was not quite enough. If I can get by with 5, I probably will not need C but if I need 6, it is likely that I will.
Grade:B/1 credit/distance=6.5
3/26- Tempo fail! I was doing well through 2 miles in 12:40 then died in Mile 3 AGAIN! I get credit for passing 5K in 20:07 (6:27 pace) but quit after that. Today's formula was 6 Thym-Adren but I made a questionable choice of OJ (about 125 mg of C) for breakfast. I feared that I would need at least some C on that dose. I went home and popped some more pills including more C and ended up MUCH WORSE and slow jogged another 1.9 miles. I am disgusted now but will try again tomorrow with no Vitamin C in any form. After further review, I am counting it as a tempo and it's only based on the 5K in 20:07. No mercy tomorrow. I will try to run on 5 then see if the 6th makes me better or worse.
Grade:C/2 credit/distance=5.0
3/27- 5 pills clearly not enough so I went with 6 before the run. Fast finish Trak Shak 5 in 35:35 (7:07 pace). Ran it with Kile and he provided good motivation. He opened up a 10 second gap on me and I closed it by running better than 6:30 in the last mile. I pulled even within a half mile but did not race him to the finish. Again, it was a decent workout but I am not race sharp. I will attempt to cut the Cal/Mag entirely and I need to call the doctor and see if he has any ideas about why magnesium seems to make things worse. Rumpshaker decision will be made tomorrow.
Grade:B/1 credit/distance=5.0
Update: My research has shown that taking B-Vitamins supposedly enhances magnesium absorption. That's worth trying down the road but not so close to a possible race. If I do Rumpshaker, I just want to run "well" and feel decent. If I'm 19:40ish, that would be satisfactory. With 5 losses in 8 weeks and 3 unimpressive wins, I'm afraid I've lost too much fitness to have a shot at a PR.
3/28- Update: I took no calcium or magnesium this morning and soon my body rudely informed me that Vitamin C was necessary without the magnesium. I thought I was going back to 8 Thym-Adren just like before but that proved to be too much. I must stick with 6 of those suckers per day until further notice. Already hurting, I went home for lunch to experiment. I took a 1:1 Cal/Mag ratio and felt MUCH WORSE so I disgustedly went to the Vitamin shop and picked up some B-complex to test my theory. I began feeling somewhat better soon afterwards. I may have found something with the B-complex + magnesium. I'm not sure if the C was hurting me or not after all.
Rumpshaker decision: I would really like to try but a bad race would be a big time downer consider what happened last year (tied my HS PR). Barring a miracle turnaround tomorrow, I am a no-go.
PM- Tried a junk run on Wisteria after work and it sucked. I only ran a half mile easy and the pace was near 8:00. I'm not sold on the magnesium+B complex so I'm going with no magnesium until St. Louis next weekend. I will go there barring injury or illness. This counts as a rest day
Grade:F/0 credit/distance=0.5
3/29- Went without any Cal/Mag and tried to run. I knew within a tenth of mile that it would suck. I popped some Mag + B complex and felt no better. Overall stats were 3 miles on Lakeshore in a time of 25:30 (8:30 pace). No go decision was correct. At least I saved $30 by not signing up early. The only thing that I can think of going forward is to go with the magnesium+ B-6 only and cut the Vitamin C. DISGUSTING!
Grade:F/1 credit/distance=3.0
3/30- Not much better. Trak Shak 5 in 39:26 (7:53 pace). Splits were 7:24-7:20-7:37-8:12-8:52.
An improvement over yesterday but only marginally so. Instead of fading in Mile 2, I was doing okay through 3. If I had done Rumpshaker, it would have been a high 22, maybe even a 23. Formula was B-6, 6 Thym-Adren, 1:1 Cal/Mag. Something must be tweaked again. I tried a 7th Thym-Adren and got worse. Why do I need to cut it again? There is a reasonable explanation. Now that magnesium is being properly absorbed, the high Na/Mg ratio is coming down and fewer pills are required. I do not feel comfortable going below 3 pills however. I'm going to lose for the 6th time in 9 weeks and there will be a penalty for lack of quality sessions this week.
PM- 2 mile junk run on Wisteria. Pace was almost surely over 9:00, possibly 10:00 but I didn't care.
Grade:D+/1 credit/distance=7.0
3/31- Continued gradual improvement. Trak Shak 5 in 38:30 (7:42 pace) with only a slight fade at the end. This one was cut short due to the rain so I drove back home to find the gym open. Ran 3 more in 23:30 (7:50 pace) with a nice rebound after a slow start. Overall time was 62-flat for 8 miles (7:45 pace). I credit cutting the Thym-Adren down to 5 pills but it clearly was too conservative. I need 4 or less, which is beginning to make me feel uneasy.
Grade:C/1 credit/distance=8.0
*Penalty- Failure to complete a run of 11 miles or longer. 1 credit with an "F" grade.
Weekly summary:
End of lousy first quarter. 6th loss in the last 9 weeks. The marginal improvements over the weekend could be a sign of breaking out of this awful slump.
Distance=35.0/GPA= 13.3/8= 1.66 (year low)
YTD: 501 miles, Record: 7-6. GPA= 35.50/13= 2.72
Monday, March 25, 2013
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Shift in body chemistry again
By far, the most frustrating aspect of this entire ordeal is the instability. Numerous times, I have been RED HOT for 6-8 weeks then fall on my face literally overnight. So far this year, I've been getting the wins consistently with the exception of the nightmarish month of February. However, it seems as if there is at least one hiccup every single week. There have been few outstanding workouts and no weeks above a 3.5 GPA. By contrast, in my longest hot streak, I went 15-3 between 10/11-2/12 with 9 weeks at or above 3.5. Words cannot describe how much I hate being so dependent on these pills but there is nothing more that I can do about it.
Let's go back to the last medical report:
The mega dose of Thym-Adren (8-9 pills/day) did exactly what it was supposed to do regarding the tissue sodium level (drop from 122 down to 30) but it did not raise the magnesium like I hoped it would (stuck at 2). Still, the adrenal ratio is no longer classified as "severe." It has edged barely into the moderate category according to Analytical Research Labs. My thyroid ratio is now only classified as "mildly" overactive. If my numbers were coming into balance so nicely, why the hiccups and why not keep doing what I have been doing? I know the reason for the shift this time. It is the blood sugar ratio, which is well into the severe category and getting worse. It has begun to over-ride the adrenal over-activity.
The keys to solving the blood sugar ratio are magnesium supplementation and avoiding forbidden drinks such as soda, energy drinks, tea and alcohol. After some trial and error, I've found that my Cal/Mag supplementation ratio needs to be near 1:1. Too much magnesium can lead to diarrhea and dizziness. I saw stars a few times last week and had a couple emergency trips to the bathroom.
What is the expected result from taking extra magnesium?
Most importantly, the Cal/Mag ratio should improve and as a result, my sensitivity to sugar should diminish. Still, it is wise to limit consumption of forbidden drinks.
Secondly, magnesium is supposed to raise sodium but it is the ratio that is most important, not the mineral value. Ideal tissue sodium is 25 but a Na/Mg ratio of 40/4 (10.0) would be a 33% improvement over my current ratio of 30/2 (15.0) and would put me very close to the "mild" category of over-activity. With only mild over-activity, the need for Thym-Adren should diminish, which is exactly what is happening. I'm fine with lowering the dose but if I have to quit it, I can just about guarantee that my adrenals will once again go back into hyper-drive. Also, I have learned that if I take more magnesium than the 1:1 ratio, I need more Thym-Adren and thus Vitamin C is required.
The surprising side effect:
I saw the Thym-Adren reduction coming and stopped just short of predicting it on the medical report post. What I did not expect was more trouble with Vitamin C, which has at times been a miracle since I discovered the deficiency back in December and at times has been a nightmare in which I could not tolerate a bottle of OJ. As I have said previously, copper and Vitamin C are direct antagonists of each other. When taking 8-9 Thym-Adren pills, which provided the full DV of copper, I needed 500 mg. of C every day or else. Now, the copper has been cut nearly in half and thus, too much C is once again a problem. If I can reduce the Thym-Adren further, I am hopeful that I can cut the Vitamin C out completely. That would leave me on a lowered Thym-Adren, a 1:1 Cal/Mag and Fructosin and that's all.
Possible impact on my running:
How much will my running improve if I am in balance vs. merely symptom free? I honestly do not know because more than likely, I have NEVER been in balance. I was showing signs of adrenal fatigue when competing in high school and showed signs of congenital weakness such as slow speech and difficulty getting up in the morning from a very young age. Even if I end up disappointed by less improvement than expected, if nothing else, I will be able to train harder and more consistently every week. That alone will yield improvement. I did manage decent mileage last week. Although the tempo was pretty good, the speed session was under par and the long run was an abject failure. During my 15-3 hot streak, I was able to chop 4 minutes off my half time (1:32-1:28) and nearly 14 from my full (3:35-3:21) in spite of being unbalanced. Now, imagine if I sustained that over a full year and went 43-7 with 25 weeks above 3.5. Even a fairly modest 5% cut across the board would put me near the following times:
5:00 Mile, 18:15 5K, 38:00 10K, 1:24 half, 3:10 full.
The marathon would improve the most and likely would be more like 3:00.
Possible impact on the rest of my life:
In every area, I am a diminished version of what I could be. As for the dating issue, I must be stable for 4 months. By stable, I mean no MAJOR adjustments to my formula. Minor tweaks are allowed. I also must have no SEVERE imbalances on my medical report. I am at least 4 months away.
Thanks for listening. This is more for my reference as I doubt that most of you will understand much of this post.
Let's go back to the last medical report:
The mega dose of Thym-Adren (8-9 pills/day) did exactly what it was supposed to do regarding the tissue sodium level (drop from 122 down to 30) but it did not raise the magnesium like I hoped it would (stuck at 2). Still, the adrenal ratio is no longer classified as "severe." It has edged barely into the moderate category according to Analytical Research Labs. My thyroid ratio is now only classified as "mildly" overactive. If my numbers were coming into balance so nicely, why the hiccups and why not keep doing what I have been doing? I know the reason for the shift this time. It is the blood sugar ratio, which is well into the severe category and getting worse. It has begun to over-ride the adrenal over-activity.
The keys to solving the blood sugar ratio are magnesium supplementation and avoiding forbidden drinks such as soda, energy drinks, tea and alcohol. After some trial and error, I've found that my Cal/Mag supplementation ratio needs to be near 1:1. Too much magnesium can lead to diarrhea and dizziness. I saw stars a few times last week and had a couple emergency trips to the bathroom.
What is the expected result from taking extra magnesium?
Most importantly, the Cal/Mag ratio should improve and as a result, my sensitivity to sugar should diminish. Still, it is wise to limit consumption of forbidden drinks.
Secondly, magnesium is supposed to raise sodium but it is the ratio that is most important, not the mineral value. Ideal tissue sodium is 25 but a Na/Mg ratio of 40/4 (10.0) would be a 33% improvement over my current ratio of 30/2 (15.0) and would put me very close to the "mild" category of over-activity. With only mild over-activity, the need for Thym-Adren should diminish, which is exactly what is happening. I'm fine with lowering the dose but if I have to quit it, I can just about guarantee that my adrenals will once again go back into hyper-drive. Also, I have learned that if I take more magnesium than the 1:1 ratio, I need more Thym-Adren and thus Vitamin C is required.
The surprising side effect:
I saw the Thym-Adren reduction coming and stopped just short of predicting it on the medical report post. What I did not expect was more trouble with Vitamin C, which has at times been a miracle since I discovered the deficiency back in December and at times has been a nightmare in which I could not tolerate a bottle of OJ. As I have said previously, copper and Vitamin C are direct antagonists of each other. When taking 8-9 Thym-Adren pills, which provided the full DV of copper, I needed 500 mg. of C every day or else. Now, the copper has been cut nearly in half and thus, too much C is once again a problem. If I can reduce the Thym-Adren further, I am hopeful that I can cut the Vitamin C out completely. That would leave me on a lowered Thym-Adren, a 1:1 Cal/Mag and Fructosin and that's all.
Possible impact on my running:
How much will my running improve if I am in balance vs. merely symptom free? I honestly do not know because more than likely, I have NEVER been in balance. I was showing signs of adrenal fatigue when competing in high school and showed signs of congenital weakness such as slow speech and difficulty getting up in the morning from a very young age. Even if I end up disappointed by less improvement than expected, if nothing else, I will be able to train harder and more consistently every week. That alone will yield improvement. I did manage decent mileage last week. Although the tempo was pretty good, the speed session was under par and the long run was an abject failure. During my 15-3 hot streak, I was able to chop 4 minutes off my half time (1:32-1:28) and nearly 14 from my full (3:35-3:21) in spite of being unbalanced. Now, imagine if I sustained that over a full year and went 43-7 with 25 weeks above 3.5. Even a fairly modest 5% cut across the board would put me near the following times:
5:00 Mile, 18:15 5K, 38:00 10K, 1:24 half, 3:10 full.
The marathon would improve the most and likely would be more like 3:00.
Possible impact on the rest of my life:
In every area, I am a diminished version of what I could be. As for the dating issue, I must be stable for 4 months. By stable, I mean no MAJOR adjustments to my formula. Minor tweaks are allowed. I also must have no SEVERE imbalances on my medical report. I am at least 4 months away.
Thanks for listening. This is more for my reference as I doubt that most of you will understand much of this post.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Training 3/18-3/24
3/18- Quarter marathon at goal pace. Finished 6.55 miles in 47:03 (7:11 pace). That's a 3:08:12 for a full 26.2. Good job. Last workout was pretty decent but it just didn't feel "right." Today did. Added a long cool. I cut the Thym-Adren from 8 pills down to 6. Normally, that would be a concern but after the medical report, it was somewhat expected. I've been cheating on the sugar restrictions lately and that must stop now. That may have played a role in the reduced dosage.
Grade:A/1 credit/distance=7.5
3/19- AM- Spain Park Mile and I had the track to myself. I tried cutting the Thym-Adren again down to 5 pills, which proved to be too aggressive. Nevertheless, I scored a new best time of the year with a 5:47.8 effort. Splits were 83-88-91-85 so not as even as last time but a 5 second positive split is still not bad. Bottom line is that I was too loose and simply did not "feel right." I'm much more concerned by how I feel than the numbers on the watch. Just like last week, I warmed up hastily and was not fresh. Still, an 8 second improvement is nothing to sneeze at and I'm now within 32 ticks of the goal. I hope to do better this evening with my interval workout.
PM- Fairly low key interval workout. I don't want to jump into 10x400 right away. I showed up for Johnny's late and did my own workout. 200-200-400-400-600 then back down. I was feeling worse in the afternoon today and was forced to take more pills. I am back up to 8 Thym-Adren. This time, I am not worried about the instability. As long as I am clean on the diet and take fructosin every day, I should be stable. The continued need for mega doses makes me feel a little uneasy. I'm far from being out of the woods. It remains to be seen what the magnesium will do to my numbers. Anyway, the workout was half good and half bad. I got off to a solid start: 34-33-74-76 then DIED. 600 was a pathetic 2:16 (goal was 2:00). The back side of the workout was also weak: 84-82-39-34.
Grade:C+/2 credit/distance=5.0
3/20- Clear, cool and windy out there. Decent workout. Trak Shak 7.5 loop in 56:09 (7:29 pace). Strong start. I was 36:40 at 5 miles then faded to 19:29 over the last 2.5 (7:47 avg). Legs were sore most of the way but then again, I have been working pretty hard lately. Feels like the Thym-Adren may have to be cut after all. Perhaps yesterday was a shock reaction to being off sugar.
Grade:B/1 credit/distance=7.5
3/21- First official day of Spring and I hope it's winter's last gasp. Tempo day today. Not as strong as last week but still managed 5 miles in a solid 32:50 (6:34 pace). Faded in Mile 3 and 4 but had a decent kick at the end. Legs were sore but overall, it was pretty appropriate given the quality of workouts this week. Took 6 Thym-Adren and it felt "about right." If I took 8 again, I would have sucked. I may try to lower it again. Only 9 days until Rumpshaker and a fast time is looking iffy. I need a decent weekend to win this week.
Grade:B+/2 credits/distance=5.5
3/22- Planned rest day. I'm planning to run with the Gnomes tomorrow. Looking for 15ish at a slower pace. We'll see how that goes.
3/23- Postponed my long run due to predicted bad weather and that proved to be a good call. Indoor 5 instead in 37:22 (7:28 pace). Nothing special but it gets the job done. I am facing another shift in my body chemistry and will report later.
Grade:B/1 credit/distance=5.5
3/24- TERRIBLE! Long run FAIL! Managed just 3 miles in a time of 23:41 (7:54 pace) with splits of 7:35-7:42-8:23. Took too much magnesium by accident and paid the price. Went home and popped some more pills in an attempt to even things out. I was better but still failed on a tempo attempt. Run #2 was another 3 miles in 19:40 (6:33 pace) and was cooked after Mile 2. I believe that I would have been over 7:00 pace if I had continued. Disgusted, I went home for another 3 at junk pace on Wisteria and did not time it. I get a "D" for determination to reach 40 on the week.
Grade:D/2 credits/distance=9.0
Weekly summary:
The end of an unimpressive 3 week win streak. I had expected to get hot after breaking the losing streak but it has not happened yet. I do have the option of taking extra magnesium but since it raises sodium, more Thym-Adren will be required and that means Vitamin C is necessary. The 1:1 ratio with less Thym-Adren and no C is the more conservative option and and based on what I saw this weekend, it's probably the right call. I am listed as questionable for Rumpshaker. A poor performance there after my triumph last year would really be a downer.
Distance= 40.0/ GPA= 23.2/9= 2.46
YTD: 466 miles. Record: 7-5. Cum GPA= 33.84/12= 2.82
Grade:A/1 credit/distance=7.5
3/19- AM- Spain Park Mile and I had the track to myself. I tried cutting the Thym-Adren again down to 5 pills, which proved to be too aggressive. Nevertheless, I scored a new best time of the year with a 5:47.8 effort. Splits were 83-88-91-85 so not as even as last time but a 5 second positive split is still not bad. Bottom line is that I was too loose and simply did not "feel right." I'm much more concerned by how I feel than the numbers on the watch. Just like last week, I warmed up hastily and was not fresh. Still, an 8 second improvement is nothing to sneeze at and I'm now within 32 ticks of the goal. I hope to do better this evening with my interval workout.
PM- Fairly low key interval workout. I don't want to jump into 10x400 right away. I showed up for Johnny's late and did my own workout. 200-200-400-400-600 then back down. I was feeling worse in the afternoon today and was forced to take more pills. I am back up to 8 Thym-Adren. This time, I am not worried about the instability. As long as I am clean on the diet and take fructosin every day, I should be stable. The continued need for mega doses makes me feel a little uneasy. I'm far from being out of the woods. It remains to be seen what the magnesium will do to my numbers. Anyway, the workout was half good and half bad. I got off to a solid start: 34-33-74-76 then DIED. 600 was a pathetic 2:16 (goal was 2:00). The back side of the workout was also weak: 84-82-39-34.
Grade:C+/2 credit/distance=5.0
3/20- Clear, cool and windy out there. Decent workout. Trak Shak 7.5 loop in 56:09 (7:29 pace). Strong start. I was 36:40 at 5 miles then faded to 19:29 over the last 2.5 (7:47 avg). Legs were sore most of the way but then again, I have been working pretty hard lately. Feels like the Thym-Adren may have to be cut after all. Perhaps yesterday was a shock reaction to being off sugar.
Grade:B/1 credit/distance=7.5
3/21- First official day of Spring and I hope it's winter's last gasp. Tempo day today. Not as strong as last week but still managed 5 miles in a solid 32:50 (6:34 pace). Faded in Mile 3 and 4 but had a decent kick at the end. Legs were sore but overall, it was pretty appropriate given the quality of workouts this week. Took 6 Thym-Adren and it felt "about right." If I took 8 again, I would have sucked. I may try to lower it again. Only 9 days until Rumpshaker and a fast time is looking iffy. I need a decent weekend to win this week.
Grade:B+/2 credits/distance=5.5
3/22- Planned rest day. I'm planning to run with the Gnomes tomorrow. Looking for 15ish at a slower pace. We'll see how that goes.
3/23- Postponed my long run due to predicted bad weather and that proved to be a good call. Indoor 5 instead in 37:22 (7:28 pace). Nothing special but it gets the job done. I am facing another shift in my body chemistry and will report later.
Grade:B/1 credit/distance=5.5
3/24- TERRIBLE! Long run FAIL! Managed just 3 miles in a time of 23:41 (7:54 pace) with splits of 7:35-7:42-8:23. Took too much magnesium by accident and paid the price. Went home and popped some more pills in an attempt to even things out. I was better but still failed on a tempo attempt. Run #2 was another 3 miles in 19:40 (6:33 pace) and was cooked after Mile 2. I believe that I would have been over 7:00 pace if I had continued. Disgusted, I went home for another 3 at junk pace on Wisteria and did not time it. I get a "D" for determination to reach 40 on the week.
Grade:D/2 credits/distance=9.0
Weekly summary:
The end of an unimpressive 3 week win streak. I had expected to get hot after breaking the losing streak but it has not happened yet. I do have the option of taking extra magnesium but since it raises sodium, more Thym-Adren will be required and that means Vitamin C is necessary. The 1:1 ratio with less Thym-Adren and no C is the more conservative option and and based on what I saw this weekend, it's probably the right call. I am listed as questionable for Rumpshaker. A poor performance there after my triumph last year would really be a downer.
Distance= 40.0/ GPA= 23.2/9= 2.46
YTD: 466 miles. Record: 7-5. Cum GPA= 33.84/12= 2.82
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Medical report
In short, the news is surprisingly GOOD! A hair test does not always correlate with how you feel but it is predictive of future health. This may sound counter-intutive because the hair test reflects an average mineral reading over the previous 3-4 months. The reason is that symptoms often appear AFTER the imbalances are present. This one covered late Novermber- mid February. I cut off almost all my hair before Thanksgiving because I wanted a shorter timeframe on this one. My previous test had covered late July-mid November. I had been unable to take any Thym-Adren until September when I started on the Fructosin and did not start on the mega doses until mid-December when I started on the Vitamin C.
Here were the numbers on the previous report vs ideals in parenthesis:
Ca: 24 (40)
Mg: 2 (6)
Na: 123 (25)
K: 25 (10)
Zn: 15 (20)
Cu: 1.4 (2.5)
Al 0.67 -(toxic)
Key ratios:
Ca/Mg- blood sugar- 12.00 (6.67)
Ca/K -thyroid- 0.96 (4.00)
Na/Mg- adrenal- 61.50 (4.17)
Na/K- life/death- 4.88 (2.50)- high is preferable to low.
Zn/Cu- 10.67 (8.0) men should be a bit high.
Latest results:
Ca: 27 (40)
Mg: 2 (6)
Na: 30 (25)
K: 10 (10) perfect
Zn: 14 (20)
Cu: 1.4 (2.5)
Al: 0.80 (toxic)
Ratios:
Ca/Mg- 13.50 (6.67)
Ca/K- 2.70 (4.00)
Na/Mg- 15.00 (4.17)
Na/K- 3.00 (2.50)- very good
Zn/Cu- 10.00- ideal for men.
Analysis:
Adrenal:
The thing that sticks out is the rapid improvement in my sodium level, which is strongly associated with adrenal function. How do I account for that? First, remember that this is an AVERAGE of the previous 3 months. When I could not take any pills, I'm sure that it was over 150 in July, which means that at the exact time of the test (late November), it was more like 90 instead of 123 and already trending down. Then, I went to the mega doses. Still, it is a shock to me and I mean that in a good way that it came down that much. Tissue sodium often runs a bit high among athletes so it's near perfect just where it is now! The ratio of 15.00 versus an ideal of 4.17 is still BAD and will still produce symptoms but it's a massive improvement over 61.50. For an athlete, my target range is more like 6-8. Just get the magnesium up to 4 and I'm good.
Adrenal fatigue:
No concern here. I will not have to take a break from running. You want to see a Na/K ratio between 2.5-4.0, which indicates "good" function. I'm right where I should be. A drop in sodium not accompanied by a drop in potassium would be a concern but potassium is right where it should be.
Blood sugar:
This one is not good. A Ca/Mg ratio below 3 or above 12 is considered to be trending diabetic and I'm at 13.50. Magnesium really should be measured in smaller increments. Suppose my Mg level rose from 1.8 up to 2.2, that would mean that the ratio got better instead of worse. Why did the Paramin not work for me leading up to Silver Comet? It exascerbated the already high Ca/Mg ratio. Need more Mg and to stay disciplined with sugar consumption. In the past, I was wary of Mg. supplementation because it also raises sodium. Now, even if the sodium rises from 30 to 50 but I get the magnesium up to 4, I will still be better off.
Thyroid:
Again, a nice improvement here. I'm at 68% of ideal versus only 24% last time.
Toxic metals:
Aluminum rose a bit but I'm not worried as long as it remains below 1.0. All others are barely detectable.
New plan:
-stick with low dose vitamin C
-reduce Thym-Adren if I can
-add enough Magnesium such that I am taking a 1:1 ratio of Cal/Mag.
Final thought:
It is likely that the low Mg was a major contributing factor in my slump in February. If I am as successful raising it as I was in lowering the sodium, I expect to run very well in the near future.
Here were the numbers on the previous report vs ideals in parenthesis:
Ca: 24 (40)
Mg: 2 (6)
Na: 123 (25)
K: 25 (10)
Zn: 15 (20)
Cu: 1.4 (2.5)
Al 0.67 -(toxic)
Key ratios:
Ca/Mg- blood sugar- 12.00 (6.67)
Ca/K -thyroid- 0.96 (4.00)
Na/Mg- adrenal- 61.50 (4.17)
Na/K- life/death- 4.88 (2.50)- high is preferable to low.
Zn/Cu- 10.67 (8.0) men should be a bit high.
Latest results:
Ca: 27 (40)
Mg: 2 (6)
Na: 30 (25)
K: 10 (10) perfect
Zn: 14 (20)
Cu: 1.4 (2.5)
Al: 0.80 (toxic)
Ratios:
Ca/Mg- 13.50 (6.67)
Ca/K- 2.70 (4.00)
Na/Mg- 15.00 (4.17)
Na/K- 3.00 (2.50)- very good
Zn/Cu- 10.00- ideal for men.
Analysis:
Adrenal:
The thing that sticks out is the rapid improvement in my sodium level, which is strongly associated with adrenal function. How do I account for that? First, remember that this is an AVERAGE of the previous 3 months. When I could not take any pills, I'm sure that it was over 150 in July, which means that at the exact time of the test (late November), it was more like 90 instead of 123 and already trending down. Then, I went to the mega doses. Still, it is a shock to me and I mean that in a good way that it came down that much. Tissue sodium often runs a bit high among athletes so it's near perfect just where it is now! The ratio of 15.00 versus an ideal of 4.17 is still BAD and will still produce symptoms but it's a massive improvement over 61.50. For an athlete, my target range is more like 6-8. Just get the magnesium up to 4 and I'm good.
Adrenal fatigue:
No concern here. I will not have to take a break from running. You want to see a Na/K ratio between 2.5-4.0, which indicates "good" function. I'm right where I should be. A drop in sodium not accompanied by a drop in potassium would be a concern but potassium is right where it should be.
Blood sugar:
This one is not good. A Ca/Mg ratio below 3 or above 12 is considered to be trending diabetic and I'm at 13.50. Magnesium really should be measured in smaller increments. Suppose my Mg level rose from 1.8 up to 2.2, that would mean that the ratio got better instead of worse. Why did the Paramin not work for me leading up to Silver Comet? It exascerbated the already high Ca/Mg ratio. Need more Mg and to stay disciplined with sugar consumption. In the past, I was wary of Mg. supplementation because it also raises sodium. Now, even if the sodium rises from 30 to 50 but I get the magnesium up to 4, I will still be better off.
Thyroid:
Again, a nice improvement here. I'm at 68% of ideal versus only 24% last time.
Toxic metals:
Aluminum rose a bit but I'm not worried as long as it remains below 1.0. All others are barely detectable.
New plan:
-stick with low dose vitamin C
-reduce Thym-Adren if I can
-add enough Magnesium such that I am taking a 1:1 ratio of Cal/Mag.
Final thought:
It is likely that the low Mg was a major contributing factor in my slump in February. If I am as successful raising it as I was in lowering the sodium, I expect to run very well in the near future.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Training 3/11-3/17
3/11- Depressing rainy day. I took off work this morning because I had to go see the "denty". Fortunately, it was just a cavity. Stayed inside for a standard issue 6 miler in 44:35 (7:26 pace). Solid performance for an easy day but I'm sure that a quality session would not have been pretty. Slight fade but that was partially by design (22:10/22:25). This was not a tempo effort but I am still stiffer than I should be. No medical report today but I expect to get it tomorrow.
Grade:B+/1 credit/distance=6.0
3/12- AM- Vestavia Mile in 5:55.05 (best time of the year). Being 40 seconds shy of the goal is no cause for celebration but nevertheless, I am on the board with my first sub-6 Mile of 2013. I broke the barrier for the first time way back in 1994 (age 13) and have since recorded at least 1 sub-6 every year except 2006 when I was Stage 3 adrenal fatigue. This was not the goal workout for the day and was actually not as bad as it appears on the surface. First, I was untapered. Second, it was 36 degrees and I barely even warmed up due to time constraints. Very even splits as well (87-90-91-87).
PM- 8x200 at Heardmont. Too loose. I did not time the first 7 but I'm sure that it was not pretty. No power at all. Then somehow, I found my top gear on #8 and passed up Dewayne who was running a tempo. Finished #8 in 29.5 self-timed. Fairly clean diet today. Only questionable choice was OJ. No medical report in the mail. It must not have been mailed until Monday. I will call them if it does not arrive tomorrow.
Grade:C-/2 credits/distance=4.0
3/13- Popped some magnesium at lunch and felt a difference almost immediately and it showed in the workout. Breezed through the Trak Shak 7 in 50:15 (7:11 pace) and actually eased off at the end. Felt much more like the Crazy J of old.
Grade:A/1 credit/distance=7.0
3/14- Great tempo. 5 miles in 31:41 (6:20 pace). I believe that I would have had a shot at sub-40 for 10K but I had to leave early. Believe it or not, I was not quite 100% today. I still need to tweak the magnesium. After the workout, I went bowling with Chilton and saw stars a few times because I was light-headed. That usually suggests a calcium deficit. Splits were 6:11-6:24-6:28-6:27-6:11. Yes, I did go all out at the end but in the mid-section, I was not giving race effort. I will likely rest tomorrow then try a 15ish long run on Saturday. Looking good for a win this week.
Grade:A/2 credits/distance=5.0
3/15- I feel good enough to run well today but I'm taking the planned rest. I may not get another chance at a good long run before my 5K in 2 weeks.
3/16- 7.5 at Oak Mountain in 55:40 (7:25 pace) plus a cool. Faded badly after Mile 4.5 but that was partially due to the heat. It was pushing 75 with high noon sun when I finished and I didn't drink. Slept in on purpose because I planned on going long tomorrow instead. I think I took a bit too much magnesium too. The ratio should be 1:1. I need at least a "B minus" tomorrow for a win on the week.
Grade:B+/1 credit/distance=8.0
3/17- Struggled most of the run and again slept for 10+ hours but I get the win only because I was able to endure it for 13 tough miles in a moving time of 1:38:53 (7:36 pace). 7-4 looks much better than 6-5. Route was Trak Shak 9 starting at Brookwood O'Henry's then added 4 extra on Lakeshore. 12 of 13 were sub-8 and the only exception was an uphill mile. Average workout.
Grade:B-/2 credits/distance=13.0
Weekly summary:
Showed flashes of excellence on Wednesday and Thursday but was shaky outside of that. My body is still adjusting to the added magnesium and I may need to reduce the Thym-Adren, which is not a surprise given the results of the medical report. I've got 2 weeks to set this straight before Rumpshaker and then I've got St. Louis the following week for fun.
Distance=43.0/ GPA= 27.4/9= 3.04
YTD: 426 miles/ Record: 7-4. Cum. GPA= 31.38/11= 2.85
Grade:B+/1 credit/distance=6.0
3/12- AM- Vestavia Mile in 5:55.05 (best time of the year). Being 40 seconds shy of the goal is no cause for celebration but nevertheless, I am on the board with my first sub-6 Mile of 2013. I broke the barrier for the first time way back in 1994 (age 13) and have since recorded at least 1 sub-6 every year except 2006 when I was Stage 3 adrenal fatigue. This was not the goal workout for the day and was actually not as bad as it appears on the surface. First, I was untapered. Second, it was 36 degrees and I barely even warmed up due to time constraints. Very even splits as well (87-90-91-87).
PM- 8x200 at Heardmont. Too loose. I did not time the first 7 but I'm sure that it was not pretty. No power at all. Then somehow, I found my top gear on #8 and passed up Dewayne who was running a tempo. Finished #8 in 29.5 self-timed. Fairly clean diet today. Only questionable choice was OJ. No medical report in the mail. It must not have been mailed until Monday. I will call them if it does not arrive tomorrow.
Grade:C-/2 credits/distance=4.0
3/13- Popped some magnesium at lunch and felt a difference almost immediately and it showed in the workout. Breezed through the Trak Shak 7 in 50:15 (7:11 pace) and actually eased off at the end. Felt much more like the Crazy J of old.
Grade:A/1 credit/distance=7.0
3/14- Great tempo. 5 miles in 31:41 (6:20 pace). I believe that I would have had a shot at sub-40 for 10K but I had to leave early. Believe it or not, I was not quite 100% today. I still need to tweak the magnesium. After the workout, I went bowling with Chilton and saw stars a few times because I was light-headed. That usually suggests a calcium deficit. Splits were 6:11-6:24-6:28-6:27-6:11. Yes, I did go all out at the end but in the mid-section, I was not giving race effort. I will likely rest tomorrow then try a 15ish long run on Saturday. Looking good for a win this week.
Grade:A/2 credits/distance=5.0
3/15- I feel good enough to run well today but I'm taking the planned rest. I may not get another chance at a good long run before my 5K in 2 weeks.
3/16- 7.5 at Oak Mountain in 55:40 (7:25 pace) plus a cool. Faded badly after Mile 4.5 but that was partially due to the heat. It was pushing 75 with high noon sun when I finished and I didn't drink. Slept in on purpose because I planned on going long tomorrow instead. I think I took a bit too much magnesium too. The ratio should be 1:1. I need at least a "B minus" tomorrow for a win on the week.
Grade:B+/1 credit/distance=8.0
3/17- Struggled most of the run and again slept for 10+ hours but I get the win only because I was able to endure it for 13 tough miles in a moving time of 1:38:53 (7:36 pace). 7-4 looks much better than 6-5. Route was Trak Shak 9 starting at Brookwood O'Henry's then added 4 extra on Lakeshore. 12 of 13 were sub-8 and the only exception was an uphill mile. Average workout.
Grade:B-/2 credits/distance=13.0
Weekly summary:
Showed flashes of excellence on Wednesday and Thursday but was shaky outside of that. My body is still adjusting to the added magnesium and I may need to reduce the Thym-Adren, which is not a surprise given the results of the medical report. I've got 2 weeks to set this straight before Rumpshaker and then I've got St. Louis the following week for fun.
Distance=43.0/ GPA= 27.4/9= 3.04
YTD: 426 miles/ Record: 7-4. Cum. GPA= 31.38/11= 2.85
Saturday, March 9, 2013
2013 Silver Comet RR
Nothing really earth shattering on this one so it will not go on the sidebar but it does merit a full post.
Training:
Recovered from a disastrous month in February to post a decent first week of March. I was near PR form only 6 weeks earlier and should not have lost much fitness. I still believed that I was capable of a sub-40 but I'd need to be 100% for that to happen. Warming up, I pretty much knew that it was not going to happen but I would give it a shot anyway. I really was not too sluggish but I had a trace of abnormal stiffness in the IT band. I did not feel like I had a ton of power and had to put forth effort to hit race pace in warm up. It felt like I was just one of those "tiny slivers" from being in tip-top form and that's about how I performed. In a 40 minute race, a 1% drop represents a 24 second loss. I felt like I was about 3% off form so I predicted a time in the low 41s. My CR set in 2011 was 40:55, which was possible but unlikely.
Trip:
Nothing to report here. It was a smooth ride on I-20, which is a road that I could drive in my sleep. I got to Nick's by 7:30 after leaving work a couple of hours early.
Course:
Rolling for the first 3K with a hill at the beginning and a fairly tough one just after Mile 1. The final 7K was on a paved trail with a flat-almost imperceptible decline. It's certainly a PR course and I really wish I was completely healthy because on my best day, I could go well under 40.
Race:
I had planned to go out more conservative this time but once again, it didn't happen. I was moving well up the first hill but was already getting stiff in the legs and was beginning to breath heavily. After a half mile, we went downhill steadily and my pace increased. I looked down to see a 1st mile split that was too fast. I intentionally backed off going uphill then attempted to pick up the pace on the trail. As expected, there was not much there. Still, I managed a brief increase early in Mile 3 to hit 5K around 20 flat. Looks like I have a chance to CR. Mile 4 was definitely a struggle but my split was not as bad as I feared. 4 runners passed me on the trail but my pace remained steady near 6:40 for Mile 5. Time to push hard now with a Mile to go. The effort increased but the pace did not. I was just struggling to stay at the same speed. Another runner began to gain on me in the homestretch but I managed to keep him behind me by 3 seconds at the finish. He looked to be near my age too and I thought that perhaps I had out-kicked him for 3rd in my AG. In any event, it appeared to be mine to lose at the 6 Mile mark but the race ended on a bit of an incline and I had very little kick left. I still thought I had it up until about 50 yards to go. In the end, I ran out of time by 3 seconds but I did manage to break 41. The official time was 40:58 and it was only good enough for 4th place in my age group. I needed a 40:19 to place. Nick PR'd by more than a minute with a 47:39. Way to go! Next up is Rumpshaker (local 5K) in 3 weeks. I'm hoping to hit the intervals hard and do 1 good long run over the weekend.
Splits:
6:12 downhill last .5
6:35 (12:47) uphill
6:29 (19:16) trail
6:42 (25:58) trail
6:42 (32:40) trail
6:45 (39:25) trail
1:33 (6:20ish pace for .24) slight rise
Final thought:
A respectable performance especially considering the hell that my body has been through but I'm sick of the "all things considered" excuse. I want results and the healing that I thought I had last year. A non-improvement over 2 years is unsatisfactory. I really don't feel that I am any better off than I was 2 years ago. A sub-41 is still within 9 ticks per mile of the goal and it's a lenient "A-".
Training:
Recovered from a disastrous month in February to post a decent first week of March. I was near PR form only 6 weeks earlier and should not have lost much fitness. I still believed that I was capable of a sub-40 but I'd need to be 100% for that to happen. Warming up, I pretty much knew that it was not going to happen but I would give it a shot anyway. I really was not too sluggish but I had a trace of abnormal stiffness in the IT band. I did not feel like I had a ton of power and had to put forth effort to hit race pace in warm up. It felt like I was just one of those "tiny slivers" from being in tip-top form and that's about how I performed. In a 40 minute race, a 1% drop represents a 24 second loss. I felt like I was about 3% off form so I predicted a time in the low 41s. My CR set in 2011 was 40:55, which was possible but unlikely.
Trip:
Nothing to report here. It was a smooth ride on I-20, which is a road that I could drive in my sleep. I got to Nick's by 7:30 after leaving work a couple of hours early.
Course:
Rolling for the first 3K with a hill at the beginning and a fairly tough one just after Mile 1. The final 7K was on a paved trail with a flat-almost imperceptible decline. It's certainly a PR course and I really wish I was completely healthy because on my best day, I could go well under 40.
Race:
I had planned to go out more conservative this time but once again, it didn't happen. I was moving well up the first hill but was already getting stiff in the legs and was beginning to breath heavily. After a half mile, we went downhill steadily and my pace increased. I looked down to see a 1st mile split that was too fast. I intentionally backed off going uphill then attempted to pick up the pace on the trail. As expected, there was not much there. Still, I managed a brief increase early in Mile 3 to hit 5K around 20 flat. Looks like I have a chance to CR. Mile 4 was definitely a struggle but my split was not as bad as I feared. 4 runners passed me on the trail but my pace remained steady near 6:40 for Mile 5. Time to push hard now with a Mile to go. The effort increased but the pace did not. I was just struggling to stay at the same speed. Another runner began to gain on me in the homestretch but I managed to keep him behind me by 3 seconds at the finish. He looked to be near my age too and I thought that perhaps I had out-kicked him for 3rd in my AG. In any event, it appeared to be mine to lose at the 6 Mile mark but the race ended on a bit of an incline and I had very little kick left. I still thought I had it up until about 50 yards to go. In the end, I ran out of time by 3 seconds but I did manage to break 41. The official time was 40:58 and it was only good enough for 4th place in my age group. I needed a 40:19 to place. Nick PR'd by more than a minute with a 47:39. Way to go! Next up is Rumpshaker (local 5K) in 3 weeks. I'm hoping to hit the intervals hard and do 1 good long run over the weekend.
Splits:
6:12 downhill last .5
6:35 (12:47) uphill
6:29 (19:16) trail
6:42 (25:58) trail
6:42 (32:40) trail
6:45 (39:25) trail
1:33 (6:20ish pace for .24) slight rise
Final thought:
A respectable performance especially considering the hell that my body has been through but I'm sick of the "all things considered" excuse. I want results and the healing that I thought I had last year. A non-improvement over 2 years is unsatisfactory. I really don't feel that I am any better off than I was 2 years ago. A sub-41 is still within 9 ticks per mile of the goal and it's a lenient "A-".
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Reflections
As my readers know, my anger about this whole situation reached a new level during the 4 week losing streak. The crux of the matter is this: When it comes to dealing with people, dishonesty is not something that I will tolerate. Call me old fashioned but I still believe that your word is your bond. If you make a promise to me or lead me to believe that you will act a certain way, I have been known to react harshly if you do not follow through especially if it becomes clear that you never intended to keep the promise. This latest relapse to me was one of several times that I felt misled into believing that I had been healed.
After the Rumpshaker 5K last year, I had set PRs in 7 out of 8 races from Sept. 2011 to March 2012 and was only taking Paramin (Cal/Mag) for preventative maintenance. In retrospect, I probably should have known that something was amiss because I was not actually freed from the Thym-Adren, I was forced off. Even a single dose produced a negative reaction and I had similar experiences with other pills that I had taken in the past. If I had sent in a medical report at that time, I'm sure that it would have been BAD but I would have had no idea what to do about it. In reality, I did not want to know the truth because the idea that I had been healed supernaturally was just too good.
I actually "recovered" from adrenal fatigue at the end of 2008 when after 2.5 years of treatment, a medical report showed that I was producing enough adrenaline. My doctor said that it is common for such patients to have their adrenals go into hyperdrive afterwards. I suppose that makes sense. I had been adrenaline deficient for at least the last 10 years, probably all my life. My body had been compensating for that issue for so long and now I had to "teach" my adrenals to slow down instead. Still, I never thought that it would take this long to get in balance and I may not be any closer now than I was back then.
Is there anything that I could have done differently? Yes, cheating on my sugar restrictions held me back and I knew better too. However, since the Fall of 2011, I've been much better in that area. In fact, I went through a month period back in July of 2012 in which I drank nothing but water and only had Gatorade during long runs but my fructose intolerance got worse, not better. The low point came in September when I could not even drink the Gatorade and my standard 7:30 pace became a walk/jog at the end of a 10 mile run.
I fixed that problem thanks to Fructosin (xylose isomerase enzyme supplement) but still developed more problems with the Thym-Adren. 2 months later, I could only tolerate very little of it despite the fact that I was still WAY overactive. Now what was the problem? It turned out to be a Vitamin C deficiency. Simple fix right? Wrong! Too much C depletes copper, which is commonly low in fast oxidizers. The low point came when I could not even drink a small bottle of orange juice without a reaction. Both are required for connective tissue healing and synthesis of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. It doesn't take much knowledge of chemistry to know what happens when those are low. That explains the depression. Symptoms can vary depending on which chemical is lowest but women tend to have crying spells when depressed while men get the angry outbursts. I never flipped out on anyone but the anger was all internal and directed at God.
I went to see Kevin and Jenny (Bible study leaders) last night to talk about it and two points stuck out. 1.) I feel wronged by God and regardless of whether it is real or perceived, it feels the same and forgiveness is the only way out.
2.) I need to get to a point in which I will be okay with God even if I am never healed.
Point #1 is absolutely right and I believe that I can do that and it will not be too difficult.
Point #2 is not so easy. If not for this illness, my whole life almost certainly would have turned out differently but if I am healed, there is still a chance that it will work out for the best. That said, I feel that the window of opportunity is closing.
Now about my fears about never being healed and the broken dreams. As for the running, I was already denied the opportunity to compete in college. That hurt but I reasoned that it probably would not matter in 10 years. When I struggled in graduate school then crashed afterwards, my job opportunites were limited. I don't hate my job and I'm in okay shape financially but it is well below what I had envisioned when I was a top student in undergrad. Yes, the imbalances are holding me back at work and I will not advance much in my career while 23 year olds fresh out of undergrad are as far as I am.
I do have a family that loves me and though I may not be Mr. Popularity, I do have several friends that would do anything for me. I want to get married and have a family but I may never even have a girlfriend because there is too much potential for hurt on both sides. It would take a very special person to put up with me when I am down and can understand why it happens.
The big dream is the book deal. If you go to Cure Zone or other health forums, it will break your heart to read about what some people go through. With my knowledge, I can help thousands of people but cannot expect them to listen if this is as good as it will get for me. Lots of books on alternative medicine have been written but they are usually by doctors not patients who have gone through it and can truly understand what it's like to live with chemical imbalances and instability. I'm not aware of any health book that integrates Scripture and interprets it in the depth that I have. I believe that I have the talent to run a sub-5 Mile or a sub-3 marathon if I was healthy and trained specifically for the distance. It's no secret in the running community that I am inconsistent and have disappeared from group runs for weeks but unless they read my blog regularly, they have no idea of the nature and severity of my condition. I have no doubt that I will take my running to a new level if healthy and it will certainly generate more interest. I vow that God, not I, will get the glory. Why is it not happening?
Jenny took me on a mental journey in which I envisioned myself with Jesus throwing away (literally in a fire) all the negative thoughts about my future being unhealthy. I could feel some of the weight lifting off me. Deep down, I know that point #2 must be accepted but it is a very tough ask. I believe that I will win the next 5 or 6 in a row and show at least some progress on the medical report but what happens around the early part of May is another issue. If I lose another 3-4 in a row, I may be angry again.
After the Rumpshaker 5K last year, I had set PRs in 7 out of 8 races from Sept. 2011 to March 2012 and was only taking Paramin (Cal/Mag) for preventative maintenance. In retrospect, I probably should have known that something was amiss because I was not actually freed from the Thym-Adren, I was forced off. Even a single dose produced a negative reaction and I had similar experiences with other pills that I had taken in the past. If I had sent in a medical report at that time, I'm sure that it would have been BAD but I would have had no idea what to do about it. In reality, I did not want to know the truth because the idea that I had been healed supernaturally was just too good.
I actually "recovered" from adrenal fatigue at the end of 2008 when after 2.5 years of treatment, a medical report showed that I was producing enough adrenaline. My doctor said that it is common for such patients to have their adrenals go into hyperdrive afterwards. I suppose that makes sense. I had been adrenaline deficient for at least the last 10 years, probably all my life. My body had been compensating for that issue for so long and now I had to "teach" my adrenals to slow down instead. Still, I never thought that it would take this long to get in balance and I may not be any closer now than I was back then.
Is there anything that I could have done differently? Yes, cheating on my sugar restrictions held me back and I knew better too. However, since the Fall of 2011, I've been much better in that area. In fact, I went through a month period back in July of 2012 in which I drank nothing but water and only had Gatorade during long runs but my fructose intolerance got worse, not better. The low point came in September when I could not even drink the Gatorade and my standard 7:30 pace became a walk/jog at the end of a 10 mile run.
I fixed that problem thanks to Fructosin (xylose isomerase enzyme supplement) but still developed more problems with the Thym-Adren. 2 months later, I could only tolerate very little of it despite the fact that I was still WAY overactive. Now what was the problem? It turned out to be a Vitamin C deficiency. Simple fix right? Wrong! Too much C depletes copper, which is commonly low in fast oxidizers. The low point came when I could not even drink a small bottle of orange juice without a reaction. Both are required for connective tissue healing and synthesis of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. It doesn't take much knowledge of chemistry to know what happens when those are low. That explains the depression. Symptoms can vary depending on which chemical is lowest but women tend to have crying spells when depressed while men get the angry outbursts. I never flipped out on anyone but the anger was all internal and directed at God.
I went to see Kevin and Jenny (Bible study leaders) last night to talk about it and two points stuck out. 1.) I feel wronged by God and regardless of whether it is real or perceived, it feels the same and forgiveness is the only way out.
2.) I need to get to a point in which I will be okay with God even if I am never healed.
Point #1 is absolutely right and I believe that I can do that and it will not be too difficult.
Point #2 is not so easy. If not for this illness, my whole life almost certainly would have turned out differently but if I am healed, there is still a chance that it will work out for the best. That said, I feel that the window of opportunity is closing.
Now about my fears about never being healed and the broken dreams. As for the running, I was already denied the opportunity to compete in college. That hurt but I reasoned that it probably would not matter in 10 years. When I struggled in graduate school then crashed afterwards, my job opportunites were limited. I don't hate my job and I'm in okay shape financially but it is well below what I had envisioned when I was a top student in undergrad. Yes, the imbalances are holding me back at work and I will not advance much in my career while 23 year olds fresh out of undergrad are as far as I am.
I do have a family that loves me and though I may not be Mr. Popularity, I do have several friends that would do anything for me. I want to get married and have a family but I may never even have a girlfriend because there is too much potential for hurt on both sides. It would take a very special person to put up with me when I am down and can understand why it happens.
The big dream is the book deal. If you go to Cure Zone or other health forums, it will break your heart to read about what some people go through. With my knowledge, I can help thousands of people but cannot expect them to listen if this is as good as it will get for me. Lots of books on alternative medicine have been written but they are usually by doctors not patients who have gone through it and can truly understand what it's like to live with chemical imbalances and instability. I'm not aware of any health book that integrates Scripture and interprets it in the depth that I have. I believe that I have the talent to run a sub-5 Mile or a sub-3 marathon if I was healthy and trained specifically for the distance. It's no secret in the running community that I am inconsistent and have disappeared from group runs for weeks but unless they read my blog regularly, they have no idea of the nature and severity of my condition. I have no doubt that I will take my running to a new level if healthy and it will certainly generate more interest. I vow that God, not I, will get the glory. Why is it not happening?
Jenny took me on a mental journey in which I envisioned myself with Jesus throwing away (literally in a fire) all the negative thoughts about my future being unhealthy. I could feel some of the weight lifting off me. Deep down, I know that point #2 must be accepted but it is a very tough ask. I believe that I will win the next 5 or 6 in a row and show at least some progress on the medical report but what happens around the early part of May is another issue. If I lose another 3-4 in a row, I may be angry again.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Training 3/4-3/10
3/4- Lakeshore run. Standard issue workout. Finished 6.5 miles in 48:08 (7:24 pace). Good job today. Solid but not stellar. Mild fade towards the end (23:48/24:20) but that's still 7:30 for the 2nd half. If this was a numerical grade, it would be 89.5 so I'll be lenient. Half mile cool.
Grade:A-/1 credit/distance=7.0
3/5- Moderate 3 mile progression indoors in 20:04 (6:41 pace). Never hurting. I believe I could have run 30 ticks faster per mile which would be near a PR. First full day on just 500 mg. of C went well. I have a hard tempo tomorrow and that will determine whether or not I will race this weekend. It will be the Silver Comet 10K and I really wish I was in tip top shape for this one. Met with my Bible study leaders one on one and will report more later on that subject.
Grade:A/1 credit/distance=3.0
3/6- Decent tempo overall but it was unconventional. I learned today that I cannot skip even one dose of Vitamin C so I'm just as dependent on it as I am on the Thym-Adren. I can get away with missing a few doses here and there with the Paramin and Fructosin but if I make a habit of it, I am in trouble. I felt great early in the workout but faded badly in Mile 3. First 3 miles were 6:15-6:18-6:33 for a 19:06 split and passed 5K in 19:55 but it just did not feel right and I was slipping to the 6:40 range so I called it and took a 10 minute rest and popped another Thym-Adren. I managed to come back with an 11:53 for the final 3K (3:57-4:00-3:56). Overall time was 31:48 (6:22 pace) but that does not count because of the rest. Added a cool on the 'mill. I am going to give it a shot on Saturday with no expectations of a good race. I have not seen Nick since Denver almost 6 months ago. Easy tomorrow morning with a 48 hour rest. I will go back to Ester C and increase the Paramin in the meantime.
Grade:B+/2 credits/distance=6.0
3/7- AM. 2 miles at standard effort. Time is pretty much meaningless at this short of a distance but it was 14:15 (7:07 pace) with a 7:00 for Mile 2 with no more effort. I wanted to get in 4 but got a bit of a late start. I may run 2 more this evening but it will be junk pace, probably on the 'mill or Wisteria.
PM- 2 miles on Wisteria at junk effort. I only did this so I could hit 35 this week without a double digit run.
Grade:B/1 credit/distance=4.0
3/8- Planned rest day. I hope to leave early for Atlanta.
Update: I got a call from the doctor's office and the medical report is on the way. I expect to receive it on Monday. I did not want to know the results over the phone with a race tomorrow. No radical changes before race day. I'm sticking with the ascorbic acid form of Vitamin C until Sunday but will continue the increased Paramin.
3/9- Increased Paramin is not going to work. Jury is still out on Ester-C. I was just a sliver away from being 100% at race time. Finished the Silver Comet 10K in 40:58 (6:35 pace). Under 41 is an "A-" but this was a fast course so this is a very lenient grade. Guarantees a win this week.
Grade:A-/4 credits/distance=7.0
3/10- Trak Shak 8. I was strugg-a-ling all the way but did manage to hold a sub-8 pace through Mile 5 then ran out of energy and treated the last 3 like a cool down. My watch died at Mile 7 and my time was in the low 57s so figure about 8:20ish for the overall pace. I've now seen enough to declare the Ester-C to be a failure. Good call to wait until after the race to find out. I've been lenient all week so I've got to be tougher on this one even though it was the day after a race.
Grade:D+/1 credit/distance=8.0
Weekly summary:
Not overly impressive but good enough for win #6 on the year and the cumulative mark is creeping closer to 3.0 despite the big hole from the 4 week losing streak. Hope to hit the speed hard now that the weather is warmer. Current formula is 1 Paramin, 8 Thym-Adren, 2 Fructosin, 500 mg of C (ascorbic acid). The latest medical report will be posted next week.
Distance=35.0/ GPA= 33.4/10= 3.34
YTD: 383 miles/ Record: 6-4. GPA=28.34/10= 2.83
Grade:A-/1 credit/distance=7.0
3/5- Moderate 3 mile progression indoors in 20:04 (6:41 pace). Never hurting. I believe I could have run 30 ticks faster per mile which would be near a PR. First full day on just 500 mg. of C went well. I have a hard tempo tomorrow and that will determine whether or not I will race this weekend. It will be the Silver Comet 10K and I really wish I was in tip top shape for this one. Met with my Bible study leaders one on one and will report more later on that subject.
Grade:A/1 credit/distance=3.0
3/6- Decent tempo overall but it was unconventional. I learned today that I cannot skip even one dose of Vitamin C so I'm just as dependent on it as I am on the Thym-Adren. I can get away with missing a few doses here and there with the Paramin and Fructosin but if I make a habit of it, I am in trouble. I felt great early in the workout but faded badly in Mile 3. First 3 miles were 6:15-6:18-6:33 for a 19:06 split and passed 5K in 19:55 but it just did not feel right and I was slipping to the 6:40 range so I called it and took a 10 minute rest and popped another Thym-Adren. I managed to come back with an 11:53 for the final 3K (3:57-4:00-3:56). Overall time was 31:48 (6:22 pace) but that does not count because of the rest. Added a cool on the 'mill. I am going to give it a shot on Saturday with no expectations of a good race. I have not seen Nick since Denver almost 6 months ago. Easy tomorrow morning with a 48 hour rest. I will go back to Ester C and increase the Paramin in the meantime.
Grade:B+/2 credits/distance=6.0
3/7- AM. 2 miles at standard effort. Time is pretty much meaningless at this short of a distance but it was 14:15 (7:07 pace) with a 7:00 for Mile 2 with no more effort. I wanted to get in 4 but got a bit of a late start. I may run 2 more this evening but it will be junk pace, probably on the 'mill or Wisteria.
PM- 2 miles on Wisteria at junk effort. I only did this so I could hit 35 this week without a double digit run.
Grade:B/1 credit/distance=4.0
3/8- Planned rest day. I hope to leave early for Atlanta.
Update: I got a call from the doctor's office and the medical report is on the way. I expect to receive it on Monday. I did not want to know the results over the phone with a race tomorrow. No radical changes before race day. I'm sticking with the ascorbic acid form of Vitamin C until Sunday but will continue the increased Paramin.
3/9- Increased Paramin is not going to work. Jury is still out on Ester-C. I was just a sliver away from being 100% at race time. Finished the Silver Comet 10K in 40:58 (6:35 pace). Under 41 is an "A-" but this was a fast course so this is a very lenient grade. Guarantees a win this week.
Grade:A-/4 credits/distance=7.0
3/10- Trak Shak 8. I was strugg-a-ling all the way but did manage to hold a sub-8 pace through Mile 5 then ran out of energy and treated the last 3 like a cool down. My watch died at Mile 7 and my time was in the low 57s so figure about 8:20ish for the overall pace. I've now seen enough to declare the Ester-C to be a failure. Good call to wait until after the race to find out. I've been lenient all week so I've got to be tougher on this one even though it was the day after a race.
Grade:D+/1 credit/distance=8.0
Weekly summary:
Not overly impressive but good enough for win #6 on the year and the cumulative mark is creeping closer to 3.0 despite the big hole from the 4 week losing streak. Hope to hit the speed hard now that the weather is warmer. Current formula is 1 Paramin, 8 Thym-Adren, 2 Fructosin, 500 mg of C (ascorbic acid). The latest medical report will be posted next week.
Distance=35.0/ GPA= 33.4/10= 3.34
YTD: 383 miles/ Record: 6-4. GPA=28.34/10= 2.83
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