I was hesitant to do this test because I feared it would lead to pessimism and fatalism. It has. Right now, my symptoms would qualify as full blown clinical depression and I don't believe there are any meds out there that can help me.
-SSRIs are bad for MTHFR mutations.
-SNRIs are bad for COMT issues.
-The only one that I might consider is MAO inhibitors such as Wellbutrin but at the end of the day, the chemical sensitivity is still there even if the drug is effective. Moreover, the side effects and withdrawal symptoms could be severe. I have a lot of other problems besides MAO issues so I'd really prefer not to go down that road. It's a last resort.
I only did the genetic test when it became clear that I would never get in balance by following the hair test protocol alone. Again, I wanted to see mutations because there had to be some explanation for this extreme sensitivity. Based on everything that I have read, the symptoms arose as a result of a combination of a congenital vulnerability and environmental factors such as high stress, poor diet and prescription drug use. I often wonder how things would have been different if I had never taken Accutane as a teenager. I believe that by refusing to take it, the acne would have cleared in my early 20s but it would have only delayed the energy crash until early adulthood. I was no champion before the crash. I was a decent high school runner who could place in a duel meet but did nothing in a major invitation and I was also injury prone. My body had some quirks from a very young age and even as early as elementary school, I had a sneaking suspicion that something might be wrong.
I expected a tough fight ahead when I got the results but I did not expect my system to reject treatments such as charcoal and yucca, as well as pretty much everything out there for CBS issues. Some early success would have really been a nice confidence booster but as it is, I'm actually feeling worse overall that I was when I got the results at the end of March. I MUST talk to the Health Coach.
A few years ago, I said that I was undecided about children. I am now firmly in the NO camp. While I am sure that caring for an infant and a toddler is very rewarding, it is also VERY draining. More importantly, now that I know that there is a genetic basis for my illness, my child would be vulnerable to the same issues that I have. Seeing that happen knowing that it was my genetic defects that caused it would break my heart.
I turn 35 in September and that's generally considered the age that men have got to consider a woman that has been married before. That's contrary to how I was raised but given my situation, I'm beginning to think that it may be for the best. Birmingham is a better city for singles than Montgomery but it's still hard to find a woman much over 30 that has never been married. I tend to relate better to people a few years older as well. Helping raise 1 or 2 pre-adolescent children would be quite rewarding and I know that I would be a darn good stepfather to teenage boy. I'll skip the diaper changing and "terrible 2s and 3s" as well.
Still that said, I would need to know who initiated the divorce and for what reason before I got serious with anybody. I can think of several circumstances in which divorce and re-marriage are acceptable:
-Abuse (physical or emotional)
-Adultery (that's obvious)
-Drug use, alcoholism or any other compulsive behaviors such as gambling addiction.
-If you got dumped for no good reason such as a medical problem, I won't hold that against you because it could have very easily happened to me.
I would still be very leery about it if it was due to arguments about money or so called "irreconcilable differences" and I believe in a waiting period of at least 1 year for dating and 2-3 for re-marriage.
I have talked to my mother about this and she's disappointed but understands. Of course, none of this matters as long as I am sick.
I'm sorry to report that I have lost all enthusiasm. I'll never walk away but right now I'm just a garden variety church go-er. I'm done with devotionals and Bible study until further notice. It's not just my situation that is the problem. I've read so many reports of sick children too. There are genetic diseases that have no known cure and it's hard to square that away with a loving God. When it comes to mutations related to detox and methylation, it's treatable but very hard to beat and it does not seem like I'm getting any help from the Great Physician.
Countless times, I felt like I was on the verge of a full recovery and I actually met my 3 most important long-term running goals. I called it the trifecta, which included my HS 5K PR, a sub-40 10K and a sub-90 half marathon. I fell short in the 400, Mile and Marathon but given all the right ingredients, the potential was there. However, the symptom free periods were nothing more than an illusion and it became painfully clear that balance would never happen unless I addressed my genetics. That's devastating. My demands are far from unreasonable. I just want stable chemistry that will allow me to enjoy life. I don't even care about PRs anymore. In fact, I'd actually enjoy the running community more if I was a little slower than I was at my peak because more people will match my pace.
One piece of good news:
I got a promotion at work and am now a Revenue Examiner II. It will require more work and more responsibility but the pay raise is significant and it does not require longer working hours. The only real downside is that my standards of evaluation will be tougher. I won't turn down the promotion but I am afraid of running into trouble at work if my health does not improve soon.